COULDA, WOULDA, SHOULDA, DIDN'T (ALTERNATE ENDING).

now I’m thinking about going to see aventurine perform at a concert thanks to that animated short…

TAGS: nothing but cuteness, use of his real name, not proofread this is pure word vomit, just a little something between studying for finals, can you tell I love writing him as an affectionate loser, 1.3k wc

When Aventurine told you that he’d be performing at the upcoming Robin concert as the lead guitarist, you were pleasantly surprised, to put it shortly. He’s a man of many talents, but how he managed to secure a spot alongside the famous singer is beyond you. 

You don’t even have to ask if you could go. As soon as you’re about to pop the question, he presses something into your hand- tickets to the best seats in the venue and a highly coveted VIP backstage pass that you know people will be fighting to get their hands on. 

In the weeks leading up to the performance, he’s busy practicing. When he’s home, the sounds of him making his way through a difficult passage can be heard, along with the soft meows of your cat critter pets as they gather around him curiously. You’re the one to massage his cramping hands after hours of practice and kiss his weary fingertips that are starting to callus.

(“It’s sounding really good so far. You should take a break now,” you say as you set down some snacks and tea besides him. He shoots you a thankful smile but makes no move to stop practicing.

“No, it has to be perfect. After all, you’re going to be there. I can’t have my darling seeing me at anything less than my best, can I?”)

When the day of the performance comes and you arrive at the venue with a bouquet of flowers in hand, he’s already waiting and greets you with a big kiss on the lips and a grin on his face.

“Darling, you’re here! And so early at that. Are these for me? Aw, you shouldn’t have!”

He’s quick to lead you backstage into the dressing rooms, where you see all the performers getting ready. The star of tonight’s show, Robin, is sitting at her vanity doing her makeup, gorgeous as ever. But in addition to her, you also spot a couple of other faces. A Knight of Beauty, the retainer of the Xianzhou Luofu’s general, and a… Stellaron Hunter? 

(From the back of your mind, you recall something about Aventurine telling you that it wasn’t just Robin performing; it was a collaboration with talented people from all over the galaxy. What a colorful cast of performers tonight… seems like that was true.)

It doesn’t take much convincing from him for you to help him with his makeup. You pull a chair up next to him as you begin doing his eyeliner.

“I know I can always count on you, darling.”

The look on his face is smug and you scowl.

“Stay still otherwise your eyeliner is going to end up all wobbly.”

Your face is illuminated by the led lights on the mirror and your brows are scrunched in concentration. He chuckles a bit before stealing a kiss from your lips, laughing when you sharply gasp. It’s a cute look on you, he thinks. But he likes seeing you flustered more. 

One of the stage crew members lets everyone know the show is about to begin. The other performers speed through the last of their makeup or warm-ups before leaving, until it’s just the two of you in the empty room.

With the start of the performance mere minutes away, stage fright is getting to Aventurine, even if he tries to brush it off. He adjusts his hat every few seconds and keeps fiddling with his guitar pick in place of his usual poker chip.

“Nervous?”

“Hah, me? Never,” he confidently declares, but you don’t miss the nervous quiver in his voice. You merely roll your eyes and sigh before stepping closer to him. One hand reaches out to fix his tie while the other reaches behind his back to grasp his left hand clenched into a tight fist. Your thumb traces soothing circles over the skin. The tension dissipates from his hand as he slowly unclenches his fist and lets it fall back to his side. 

“You’ll do amazing,” you say as you redo his tie. “You’ve been practicing so much you could play everything in your sleep at this point. And if you get nervous, know that I’m there in the audience. Just keep your eyes on me and it’ll all be fine.”

You tug at his tie one last time.

“All done now. Look at you, so handsome.” 

“For your eyes only,” he teases back with a wink. 

You pat down his suit jacket and adjust his hat one last time.

“Go and steal the show now, Kakavasha.”

He gives you a cheeky grin.

“No good luck kiss?”

“You don’t even need one considering you were blessed by a goddess. But come here.”

Yes, he demands a good luck kiss before the show begins. Yes, he also demands kisses during intermission where he sweeps you off your feet in an affectionate hug coupled with kisses all over your face.

“How was I back there?” he asks once he sets you down. He doesn’t seem to mind that others are watching with varying levels of amusement but he’s always been unapologetically shameless with his displays of affection. 

“Perfect,” you say. “You sounded even better up on stage than at home.”

But it’s not over yet. He has a solo in one of the pieces during the second half of the concert, and it’s what he’s most worried about.

Aventurine’s eyes wander during the pieces leading up to his solo and he notices a perpetually yellow lightstick glowing in the VIP section near the stage. Robin is performing right now, meaning that almost all of the lightsticks are glowing white. 

He smiles to himself. You really are too supportive of him. 

Robin stops singing and now it’s his time to shine. The spotlight hones in on him and follows him down the stage to the screams of fans. The lightsticks quickly switch from white to yellow, but his eyes are on one person only. 

You scream his name followed by an enthusiastic “I love you!” so loudly that you think you’ve made the people next to you go deaf. His gaze meets yours under the blinding lights and the way he looks at you- you think you’ve fallen in love all over again.

Like you told him to, he keeps his eyes on you. His breathing slows down and his trembling fingers gripping the fingerboard stop shaking. He readjusts his stance and without any further hesitation, dives into his solo.

Many in the audience vye for his attention, smitten by his good looks. They reach for him as he passes by, but his attention is on one person only. Your gaze grounds him, keeps the stage fright at bay, and encourages him to keep going, if only to fulfill his wish of you seeing him at nothing less than his very best. 

His solo is flawless. Perfect. As the last note reverberates through the air to the cheers of adoring fans, his eyes seek you out once more. His heart pounds in his chest, riding off the high of a successful performance- and your loving gaze. 

You watch as Aventurine spins around in place, seeking you out. When his eyes meet yours, you wave your lightstick excitedly and blow him kisses. You see the adrenaline rush written clearly all over his face, but also the joy in his eyes after seeing your pride in him. He pretends to catch the kisses you blow his way before blowing a few back. Your entire section erupts in chaos, but you alone stay put, gazing up at him with a tender and proud look that he always feels like he never deserves.

But tonight, he feels like he does. 

Aventurine is a born actor, able to fool everyone and himself. But in a crowd of many, he’ll always bare his heart for you. 

wondergays x showtime sleepover comic!!

love again

dan heng x gn reader 3.3k words , hurt comfort + second chance romance this was inspired by one of cardan's letters to jude (from the folk of the air series by holly black) but other that than i have no idea where this was going ++ dan heng might be ooc too but this was very fun to write :,)

the astral express used to be your home.

now, it is nothing more than a sore subject; a burden that presses on your being—a constant reminder that perhaps, there are some things you grow out of, but are forever unable to get rid of. it has taken far too much of your life for you to cast aside, and as much as you wish you could permanently erase it from memory, you aren’t sure if you even want to.

it’s a conflicting dilemma to be faced with. you’re constantly wedged in between two emotions: wanting to forget, and wishing you didn’t want to. there’s something so comforting about holding onto the remnants of the past. and yet, simultaneously, there is also something so devastating when faced with the realization that they belong only to the past; nothing more than a reflection of a bygone time.

still, you’d like to say that you’re faring pretty well. belobog has taken quite the space in your heart, and even though it might only be filling the hole that the express left you with, you’re more than content.

you’ve learned to adapt to the everwinter—the eternal freeze, as they’d call it. and even though it’s sweeping winds have proven to be quite bothersome at times, you don’t really mind. you’ve gotten used to enveloping yourself in a thick coat before exiting the house. and waking up a few minutes earlier than usual to warm yourself with a hot beverage isn’t so horrible.

but most importantly, you’ve begun looking forward to your days, as opposed to letting what happened a few months back tie you down.

it was a moment in time anyone would remember vividly had they experienced it—for a completely haunting reason. even after seven months of solitude; more specifically, seven months of self induced isolation, you can still easily step back into that day, as well as the ones that followed, though those are a bit more blurred in comparison.

when dan heng accused you of being a traitor, you knew there was no going back. in the blink of an eye, everyone on the astral express viewed you differently, and as much as they tried to believe otherwise, they couldn’t shake off the possibility of his words holding some ounce of truth to them; his status was that of a trusted guard, authority held in high esteem.

but he was also your lover.

dan heng was the embodiment of everything you’ve longed for; precious, beloved, sacred. only, that wasn’t enough to quell his misplaced anger towards you. instead, it fueled it even more, and with each day that followed, he made his distaste for you increasingly apparent.

you’ve tried to explain—persistently, and determined to dispel any suspicion he held towards you; desperate to make things right; to make him love you again. but every time you’d catch him alone and free from his duties, he’d glower at you before you could even reach him, and even as you trailed after him with a string of rushed explanations falling from your mouth, he wouldn’t listen. he didn’t want to. he didn’t need it.

he didn’t need you.

and who were you to ask for more? soon enough, even welt and himeko had little to no trust for you. they couldn’t even seem to tolerate you; always making excuses to avoid engaging in conversation, seemingly edging you out of their circle through subtle means.

it was exhausting, and also painful. incredibly so that one silent night, you hopped onto the train, dragging a suitcase from behind and begging pompom to take you somewhere else—anywhere else—and to keep quiet about your disappearance. not that you thought anyone would care, really, but still.

that’s how you ended up in belobog; with a broken heart you’ve tried piecing back together and an unspoken explanation festering in the back of your mind—that you weren’t siding with kafka, simply hoping to reach a compromise with her; a conversation caught and taken completely out of context.

but you’re faring pretty well. and time heals all wounds, apparently, so there’s an obstreperous hope rooted deep in your heart that makes you believe things might just really get better. each day that passes signifies another step inching you closer towards the line of recovery. and perhaps, knowing that one day you might cross it, was enough.

but belebog has been in some commotion lately.

for a reason completely unknown to you, the silvermane guards have been raising a ruckus by the streets every day. causing citizens, in return, to erupt into an uproar in absolute fear of what might follow.

and you’ve resigned yourself to that oblivion. ignorance is bliss, and you had no plan on disrupting the semblance of peace that’s been so graciously bestowed upon you. but the world has an incredibly humorous way of working, and somehow, it seemed hellbent on giving you the answer to a question you had no interest knowing.

“please wait.”

a firm hand encloses itself around your wrist, tightening its grip even further (though still gentle), upon noticing how you were trying to escape.

“y/n—” he tries once more.

“no,” you deny without any hesitation.

everything about this is wrong. the last thing you needed was for dan heng to appear right in front of you, and in belobog of all places. god, this was your home; your newfound sanctuary—did he have to ruin that too? how long until enough was enough?

you despise the way his touch sears into your skin, abhor the fact that even after months, he still manages to get a reaction out of you, and resent that your heart still races seeing the tender look on his face. that treacherous, good for nothing organ.

you level him with a glare before forcefully pulling your hand away from his; the loss of his warmth causes your heart to sink into your chest. “do not speak to me,” is all you say, and then pivot on your heel to walk towards the opposite direction—going to god knows where.

“this is where you’ve gone to?”

the question falls on deaf ears.

“you do not belong in belebog,” he says.

and you want to whirl around to ask him: where do i belong then? the astral express, where you have all cast me aside? but they remain lodged up in your throat, eventually dying when you realize how meaningless it would be trying to argue with someone who has never been willing to listen in the first place.

you continue walking, and each step you take is so heavy that they echo in his ears. dan heng is at a loss for what to do—has been for the couple of months, but he knows better than to let this opportunity slip through his grasp, so he follows, trailing behind you while keeping a distance.

he tries making small talk; starts talking about how he’s on a mission, accompanied with march and a newfound acquaintance who goes by the name trailblazer—claims that belobog is bound for conflict, and that he’s glad to see you, as if he wasn’t the one who pushed you away.

but you pay him no mind. there is no reason to show him any reaction. all you need to do is disregard him until he gives up.

“herta has been trying to contact you,” he suddenly announces. “she is worried; so are asta and arlan.”

“tell them there is no need. i’m alright.” you reply, voice rushed, wishing to get whatever this was over with.

what follows next are updates about everyone you’ve known on the express: himeko, welt, march, and even a couple of researchers have apparently been worried in regards to your disappearance; asking pompom about your whereabouts, and soon trying to find out the answer themselves. and while it washes away a bit of indignation, it holds little to no value to you now.

so what if they were troubled? for all you knew, they deserved it—they wanted you gone, and so you did them a favor by leaving, but now they want to pretend that they care? incredulous.

in a fit of frustration, you take a sudden halt in your steps, prompting him to take a pause as well; his feet rooted to the cobblestone pavement. when you turn to face dan heng, his shoulders straighten to correct his posture and his eyes search to meet yours, but you’re unhappy—displeased, and quite annoyed.

“leave. me.” you demand through gritted teeth, trying to prevent every other word threatening to escape by biting on your tongue.

but he cannot. because if you’ve been faring pretty well, then dan heng has been faring horribly, and if he made a mistake, then it was up to him to fix things.

“i have been looking for you,” he admits.

“you’ve found me, now leave.”

“my love—” he tries to begin, and it nearly kills you.

“do not!” you yell, every emotion you’ve been trying to keep at bay reaching its boiling point; eyes flaring with bitter anger at the term of endearment. “you have no right to call me that!”

you can’t do this anymore. for the sake of your own wellbeing; your pride and sanity, or whatever is left of them—and for every piece of yourself you’ve slowly been regaining. he is not allowed to strut out of your life and slam the door on you only to come back.

“you have no right to be here! leave!”

“come back to us.” to me, he wishes to say, though it remains in the back of his mind. “i am begging you.”

“i will never go back.”

“you do not belong in belobog.”

“i do not belong in the express either; you have made that very clear to me—all of you have.”

“i was mistaken in my judgment.” he tries to reason. and the turn of events is humorous, because this was exactly what you’ve been trying to do a few months back. and now, dan heng is completely aware of how desperate the feeling is. “but i have explained. they were not wrong to put their faith in me, but i was wrong to accuse you—i am sorry. the fault is on me, but please do not blame them for their suspicion.”

“i don’t care. you don’t get to do as you wish and expect me to follow through. i don’t belong here, yes, but whether you like it or not, this is my home now, and you have no right to take me away from here after tossing me aside.”

gesturing wildly with a hand, you continue. “i have been trying to navigate my way through the aftermath of what happened. and i have resigned myself to that loss—so leave me. you have no right to barge into my life and ask me to come back. you have no right to take advantage of my love after taking it for granted.”

the air stills around you then, temperature seemingly dropping a few more degrees, if that were even possible in this everwinter. helpless, you look at dan heng with quiet agony—defenseless and exposed, but most of all, ashamed.

dan heng stares at you in horror, and it makes you want to cry. you needed to get out of here; needed to lick at your wounds and stitch them back shut. god, where did your walls go?

“leave it. i—” you shake your head, unsure on what to say next. your hands fall to your sides, nails digging into the palms of your hands as they clench into fists.

“tell everyone on the astral express that i am fine. there is no need to worry about me.”

and he hates it; the way you speak of your home as if it’s no longer of that nature, but simply a place you once knew of. he hates how you’re right in front of him, within reach, but still out of grasp. and he hates that there is no one to blame for the consequence of his cruelty but himself.

red rimmed, exhausted, and on the precipice of surrender, dan heng’s eyes burn—perhaps he is being too selfish, but even then he doesn’t think he can stop.

“march has been wearing the clothes you’ve left at your station,” he says. and you have no idea where the direction of this conversation is heading, but something compels you to listen anyways. “himeko has been blaming herself for your departure. welt has been persistent in his demands for an answer from pompom. arlan and asta cannot go one day without mentioning your name.”

there’s a slight pause he takes before resuming.

“you have not left just because you did; you are part of the astral express. you will remain a piece of us forever, so please,” dan heng begs, swallowing against a scratchy throat. “come back to us.” and then corrects himself in a broken voice. “to them, at least.”

“enough!” you snap, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“please—”

“you are asking for too much.”

“i will take anything you give me,” he lets out, strained and miserable; unceasing in his pleads. “you can resent me for an eternity, shout at me all you want, curse me unto death, just come home.”

and it’s enough to reduce you into a foolish mess; the patent desperation of it all—longing in his voice, yearning in his eyes. you’ve always had a soft spot for him. it seems that some things never do change.

“you don’t need me,” you whisper, still in disbelief.

dan heng offers you a breathless laugh.

“i do,” he confesses, wearing a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “more than anything else. and i have tried not to need you—not to even think about you, but it’s a losing game.”

he takes a hesitant step towards you, praying you don’t move backwards in response. and when you don’t, it only spurs him on to continue, so he does exactly that; slowly moves closer until you’re only a breath apart from one another.

“when i found out the truth, i have never been more in dispute with myself. it is humiliating being proven wrong, but rather than shame, i felt sorry for not believing you; for not even listening.”

you have no room to cut in. he speaks before you can let out a single word. “i don’t deserve forgiveness. i don’t deserve to even ask for it, or any of this, but i beg you, come home. i am sorry for hurting you—for driving you away, but i’ll be selfish once more and ask you to come home.” hate me at a nearer distance. just don’t be too far away from me.

and for once, you’re rendered speechless; completely overwhelmed. your cheeks flush with heat, and you feel so much that you begin to cry—pathetically sobbing as you fall into him and weakly punch at his chest, somehow still managing to feel your heart skip a beat at the contact.

“why are you here?” you cry, choking between words and hiccups. “you confuse me. i don’t know what any of this means.”

he pulls you in closer, placing your head on his shoulder with a careful hand, allowing your tears to stain the fabric. “i love you.”

“you don’t know anything about love.”

“i do. i know it because it’s you.”

you sob into his shoulder, shaking. “i hate you.”

“i know,” he says, rubbing small circles on your back to soothe you. “but i love you, forever and always. i don’t think i can stop. i have been too careless with you. if you’re willing to let me, i want to fix that.”

“you can’t. i’m a mess.”

so dan heng says, “i love you regardless. i’ll love you always,” but what he doesn’t tell you is i have been killing myself over your absence. you have the power to destroy me, and you don’t even know it—and i have no idea what to do with that revelation.

you could turn into a criminal and i would still fear losing you more than i would death. i would follow you anywhere, even if it meant i had to throw away all my morals—so long as i’m with you, i need nothing more.

though, he’s still quite relieved you aren’t actually evil.

“you won’t.”

“i will.”

“but you left me,” you murmur.

“and i’ll never do that again,” he promises, words dripping with so much honesty that you can’t refute them; sincerity practically emanating from his body.

your pulse quickens. already faltering in your resolve to push him aside, the lump in your throat expands to a quivering voice as you breathe out his name: dan heng.

the way it rolls off of your tongue enthralls him. it’s enough to send him into a spiral—it’s also enough for him to understand what you’re trying to convey.

he pulls you in even closer, eliminating any space between you two as he presses up against your form, relishing in the way you feel in his arms—something he was starting to doubt he’d ever feel again.

really, honest to god, he was definitely made for you.

"i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm so incredibly sorry," he apologizes repeatedly while holding onto you. and while his touch is foreign, it is also terribly familiar.

“dan heng,” you call out to him once more.

“yes?” he questions, uncertainty heavy in his tone.

“i cannot go back to the astral express,” you reveal, and he can practically hear how his heart instantly shatters at your words. “not immediately, at least. belobog is a lovely place. i want to stay here for a while.”

and then they piece themselves back whole. “it is nice,” he agrees, arms tightening around your torso like the prospect of letting you go would end him.

“how long until you leave?”

“i am not too sure anymore.”

you pull away slightly to give him a questioning look, and he smiles at your curiosity. “i’ve told you earlier that i have been looking for you. if you are here, then there is no reason for me to leave now.”

“then you’ll stay?” you ask.

“yes,” he tells you. “i will stay.”

“but you have nothing here.”

“i have you.” and that is more than enough for him.

“but the astral express is your home, even more so than it is mine.”

“no,” he corrects you. “the express is where i reside in at most, but my home is wherever you are. and if that’s in belobog, then so be it.”

“you’ll stay here with me? in this cold?”

“yes,” he assures you, lifting a hand to cup your face. as a thumb brushes across your cheek, he starts leaning in until his lips hover over yours. “i’d like to stay with you, and i’d like to keep it that way forever, if you would let me.”

you don’t say anything else, because truthfully, it’s unnecessary to speak in this moment. instead, you find another way to communicate with him by filling in the gap separating you two with a kiss.

dan heng makes a startled sound, shocked at your advances, especially with taking into consideration the circumstance prior to this. but then realization strikes through him, and soon, he’s kissing you back.

it’s slow at first; delicate, unsure if any of this was actually real, uncertain if he even deserved it. either way, he’s mapping every second of this moment onto his heart, eyes slipping shut as he wills himself to be patient with you. but then sweet longing pierces through him, and the kiss turns fervent, wholly desperate, because it has been far too long—and he realizes that he’s wasted too much time.

so he keeps kissing you, and you let him.

warmth floods from your face to your chest to your fingers, spreading like wildfire. belobog is a region of unparalleled coldness—it is always freezing here; the wind is biting, and there’s a permanent chill that creeps through the air. but right now, you are melting into a lovesick puddle as dan heng kisses you with an intensity you’ve never known before; transferring all the love—all the longing, he’s stored up for you through slightly chapped lips and careful touches.

you think of it all of a sudden; how dan heng told you that home is wherever you are—and in his arms, you realize just how true that statement is.

ִ ࣪𖤐 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐒𝐘𝐋𝐔𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐄𝐃

"If you want to act like a brat then I'll treat you like one."

"Ah, ah, ah, where do you think you're going, hm? I'm not done with you yet."

"You and this fucking body of yours. Fuck... It drives me crazy."

"I won't let anyone take you from me. You're mine. Mine. Do you understand?"

"Who said you could touch? Tsk, tsk, tsk. Such a bad girl. Just asking me to punish her."

"Don't let me catch you so easily next time."

"Ooh, someone's a little fiesty. How exciting. You know how I enjoy getting a little rough."

"Push back, c'mon. Give it to me, pretty thing. Give me that pretty cunt."

"Fuck... Don't fucking tease me. It won't end well for you."

"You know better than to disobey, don't you? Or do you want to be a bad girl tonight?"

"Keep testing my patience and see where it gets you."

"A pretty little collar for a pretty little thing."

"Don't worry about them. Keep your eyes on me. I'm fucking you. Not them. Watch me."

"You haunt my entire being. You consume me. Now it's time for me to do the same. Let me devour you."

"You're so wet already. Don't tell me that you get worked up from being watched? What a dirty thing you truly are, hm?"

"Good girl. Just like that. Who's good girl are you?"

"C'mere, let me teach you a lesson since you want to run that fucking mouth of yours."

"Just the tip, baby. Just the tip, I swear to you. Fuck."

"You don't deserve my cock tonight. So if I were you I'd get those hips moving. Maybe if you grind hard enough against me you'll get off."

"Show me how you ride it, sweetheart."

"Don't tell me you're crying already. You wanted me to rough you up a bit, didn't you?"

"Stop your fucking whining and let me fuck you properly."

absentminded musings.

“can’t stop staring at you, it’s like i forgot that staring is rude.”

(in which he either succors you back to disciplined focus…or simply makes for an attractive and infuriatingly worse distraction.)

characters: albedo, ayato, childe, diluc, itto, kazuha, scaramouche, thoma, xiao

“the fuck are you looking at?” scaramouche sneers at your dazed expression, snapping you out of your temporary trance. you must have lost track during your daily dose of his colorful reproaches and stubborn chiding, at some later point…which wasn’t exactly very difficult to distract yourself with. after all, his face seemed to be a much more interesting subject, and posed for a hundred rather curious questions — starting with how an attractive boy like that just so happened to have one of the shittiest personalities in the world. “…oi, you idiot. you’re doing it again.”

you’re about to plainly retort that you were simply being wrongfully accused once more, but you bite the words between your teeth when he suddenly draws his face closer towards yours, eyebrows scrunched in irritation and a bratty frown pursed on his lips. you feel your breath catch in bewilderment, and find yourself instinctively shying away from the eerily close proximity. besides, scaramouche isn’t particularly adept in the scope of feelings either, but one look at your oddly timid disposition and he knows you’re flustered because you’ve been busy staring at his face. he wonders if you’ve noticed how long he’s been quietly staring at yours too.

“archons, it’s like you lost your manners.” xiao snorts at the dazed look glazed on your features, only rolling his eyes at you when you suddenly meet his piercing gaze with an awkward and surprised expression contorting across your face. you feel yourself scramble to apologize with reddened cheeks for not paying attention to his words…and you felt even more embarrassed when you see his features quirk into disappointment, for you knew deep down that you had covertly spent the last few minutes staring at him instead of actually trying to hear his statements. “honestly, mortals are so damn annoying. maybe this will help you listen better.

you let out an abrupt gasp when you feel him suddenly pin you on the rail of the balcony, caught between his chest and the wood, and his slanted amber irises reflecting the enchanting sunset behind you. you swallow the thick lump forming in your throat, and wait for him to continue speaking where he had left off in the previous conversation. and this time you decide to hear him out, and hope that the sound of his low and comforting voice slowly drowns out the incessant noises that foster quietly inside the depths of your chest.

“see something you like?” ayato smiles, tilting his head curiously at you. halfway through the chess game, you had already decided it was best for you to give up and think about something else to soothe the depressing sense of defeat. ayato was undeniably brilliant, and it could be perceived within each one of his move-sets during the stretch of the game. he was also…infuriatingly pretty, you couldn’t help noticing the way his pearl white hair shone beneath morning sunbeams. you sigh to yourself, muttering an apology and shifting your gaze back down to the board, ready to accept your imminent and rather upsetting fate…when you notice how your queen just so happened to be within the range of ayato’s king on the field. “your move, y/n.”

you can’t seem to hide the joy that begins to spill across your face when you hurriedly make a move with your queen piece to the other end of the board, unable to control the shriek of victory as you jump up from your seating position and raise your arms in excitement — after all these dreadful years, you had finally won a single chess game against ayato! and you’re too engrossed in your unexpected triumph against the boy to recognize how ayato sinks his head in his hand to admire the smile glowing on your face. there’s not many people he can honestly say he doesn’t mind losing to, but he figures getting distracted by you mid-game and subconsciously allowing you to win…makes him feel happier rather than defeated at the astonishing notion of it.

“…are you still listening to me?” albedo muses, an eyebrow raised at your stupor expression after listening to him talk about his experiment for a few hours. which you didn’t actually find boring — in fact, it was rather interesting at first…but then you started wondering about the curious shade of blue in his effervescent eyes, and how his locks of blonde hair began to look oddly similar to a golden aureole. and before you knew it, you were dozing off as you stared at his lips, and albedo was already getting up in your face out of instinctive concern. “apologies. that was probably boring for you, wasn’t it?”

you shake your head with a smile, apologizing to him for distracting yourself with some pre-occupied thoughts. but albedo knows you’ve simply been busy staring at him for the past few minutes, and yet chooses not to mention it aloud to perhaps spare you the vocalized embarrassment. besides, who was he to call you out on the endearing gesture when he had often found himself occasionally staring at you too?

“staring is rude, sweetheart.” kazuha smirks, raising his bandaged hand to gently caress the side of your face, consequently tugging you out of your little daydream. you blink at him in confusion, avoiding his playful and accusatory gaze, while also boldly claiming you had listened to his words loud and clear. when you’re about to move forward from the awkward point of the conversation, he suddenly inches closer towards your body and shifts his fingers to skim over your lips, a sly smile quirking across his mouth as he sees the way your eyes widen at the unexpected action. “that’s real cute, darling. why don’t we hear you repeat what i said again this time, okay?”

and you absolutely loathe the way kazuha coyly simpers when he witnesses you utterly caught in your words, still busy poking and blatantly staring at your lips while you try (and unfortunately, fail) to form the proper sentences to say beneath his animalistic gaze.

“quit dozing off.” diluc sighs for the umpteenth time, snapping his fingers in front of your face. your glazed eyes flicker over to meet his intense scarlet gaze, and you merely smile in apology for allowing yourself to be distracted. but lately, you can’t really seem to help it — despite wanting to truly learn the art of winery, it’s already difficult enough to end up getting tutored and trying to concentrate with your boyfriend’s attractive face in your line of sight. “…did you write that down?”

you hum softly in assent, busy skimming through the entirety of what you had just written based on what he talked about for the last thirty minutes. however, what you’ll eventually fail to notice is how the tables have astonishingly turned — and for the ensuing ten solemn minutes of your diligent review, diluc’s attention becomes completely enraptured and foolishly dead-set on you.

“um, is there something on my face?” thoma awkwardly chimes, scratching his cheek in embarrassment when you finally realize you’ve been staring at him for…clearly way too long. which wasn’t entirely your fault! you were just never consciously aware of how attractive a man could look while passionately chattering about housekeeping, especially when it came to the courteous boy standing in front of you. “sorry, perhaps the concept was a bit confusing. why don’t i say that for you again?”

you hope he assumes it’s just that, to spare yourselves the imminent awkwardness upon realizing that you were actually secretly admiring his face. but when he turns around and you barely perceive the light flush of pink that clouds on his fair cheeks, you think to yourself that…you’re probably fucked, and you’re almost a hundred percent sure he just caught you openly gawking at him. but for some reason, something in his throaty cough and his inability to meet your unwavering gaze, makes it seems as though the feeling is mutual and oddly reciprocated anyway.

“maybe consider taking a photo, darling. it lasts longer.” childe snickers lightly when he sees you scoff at him with flushed cheeks. so sure, the cruel asshole was stupidly attractive and he clearly knew it. and sure, you may have stared at him for a tad too long this time…still! you could admit he was handsome, but you couldn’t bear to accept the fact that you were somehow, and perhaps almost impossibly, in love with such an arrogant and deceitful man. “i was kidding! jeez, don’t get all sensitive on me again. anyways, where were we…”

but you’ve probably never considered the fact that perhaps the reason why childe was so intent on flirting with you, was due to the fact that he had accidentally harbored some romantic emotions towards you as well. he’s normally good at getting to know girls and forming relationships with them, since you had always been more challenging than the rest, as well as difficult to get to open up. and although you’ve made it perfectly clear in your intentions that you would never even think about dating an utter jerk like him, he likes to think that the brief moment of vulnerability in your previously flustered state, gives him at least a sliver of a chance.

“you’re staring awfully hard, shrimp. it’s like you’re in love with me or something.” itto winks in a cheesy manner when he sees you come back to your senses — because the thought that pops in your mind processes as a concept that’s outrageous and utterly absurd. him? please. you’d be insane to want someone as terribly reckless and brute as him. but his horns are adorable, his face is oddly endearing, and deep down he’s actually some kind of silly, big and caring baby towards the people he cares about, including you… “you’re staring again.”

you’re not staring, you emphasize it to him again. you can still hear him right now, how he’s busy rambling about the irodori festival, and you’re too pre-occupied with drowning in his apricot-hued irises to discern how he slyly asks you to accompany him while visiting the merriment held in ritou. all you could do was nod at his request in stupor — and end up chastising yourself over and over later in the night, for carelessly falling for glazed orange eyes and that boisterous man who had walked you home with that stupidly victorious grin that evening.

goin home to be ugly in peace is one of my fav things to do

Forelsket Masterlist

Forelsket: (n.) the euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love

Synopsis: After a falling out drives you and Albedo apart one year ago, you find yourself returning to Dragonspine, the same place that led to everything going downhill. But this time, you’re accompanying the traveller and his floating companion. Are some things best left buried beneath the snow or are there still secrets driving the two of you farther apart?

Total Word Count: ~52.1k

Status: Completed

Prologue

Act I: Abience 

Act II: Serendipity 

Act III: Metanoia 

Act IV: Ineffable 

Act V: Redamancy 

Epilogue 

Bonus Scene: Albedo’s Birthday 

Notes:

It’s a slow burn! And while this is an Albedo x GN!Reader fic, I’ve put a lot of thought into the Reader’s relationships with other characters as well and who they are

My apologies if any of the characters are OOC, I’ve tried to capture their personalities as best I can

you let out an audible groan after you see dan heng peel another orange for you, "dan heng, please. please tell me how you peel the oranges without getting splashed with orange juice," you pleaded, leaning your head on the man's shoulder as you wrap your arms around him.

the express was quiet tonight. everyone was asleep, and it was just you and dan heng lurking in the kitchen for the night. you woke him up because you were bored and needed someone to talk to. at first, you felt a little guilty for your abrupt arrival, but dan heng reassured you that he was not asleep (even though he yawned and rubbed his eyes when you woke him up).

dan heng only shakes his head, continuing to peel the orange, "you need to be quieter."

you only huff in response, throwing your head closer to the nape of his neck, "c'mon! please? i need to know how you do it! if i don't, i'll just keep getting juice in my eyes," you urged.

he chuckled in response, and he even sounded relaxed, for a change, "that wouldn't have happened if you hadn't ripped the orange out of my hand mid-peel."

your eyes bulged and dan heng could not resist the smile forming on his lips, "first of all, i did not rip it out. i grabbed it. second, i wanted some autonomy for a change!"

dan heng playfully rolled his eyes, "if your autonomy means juice getting splattered all over the kitchen, then i suppose it's a good idea to keep this orange out of your reach," his sarcasm prevailed.

you huff, leaning your head into dan heng’s neck. then, you get an idea. your arms⎯once wrapped around his shoulders⎯made their way around his neck. your fingertips led to the beginning of his chest, and you had to stand on your tiptoes to progress a little lower.

you feel dan heng tense up at the contact, and you wonder if you've taken it too far. you're about to remove your body from his, but you feel his muscles relax. you find that, when dan heng relaxes, it's like his entire body turns to mush. he's easier to scare, easier to prod at, easier to touch; you know this because of your observations, and most definitely not because you willingly choose to notice these things.

"what are you doing?" dan heng turns his head to meet your grinning face. his eyebrow is quirked up in the same inquisitive way it always is. the sight makes you beam even further, and you swear you could see dan heng turn a little red.

"i'm cold," you simply say, pressing yourself closer onto him, "is this... okay?"

dan heng stares at you. he looks into your eyes with nothing but admiration. he stares at you like you are his definition of beauty: of all the things he has seen whilst traveling on the express, it seems that his eyes are only truly mesmerized when they land on you. you are the one for him, his eyes describe.

alas, you are too preoccupied with other things to think about this. as dan heng tries to formulate his answer, your hands reach down to his and snatch the orange out of his hands, jumping back and hitting one of the countertops by accident. you wince, but shortly get over the pain after seeing the orange in your hand.

dan heng stares at you in momentary shock. at first, he tries to process what just happened. did you touch him to feel him, or only to get the orange? did you mean it? was it worth it? his mind spiraled with questions similar to those.

however, his worries were set aside when he saw you narrow your eyes, waiting for him to make a move. and he realizes that everything is going to be okay. there’s no worry around you; there’s never been.

the dim light of the kitchen can only illuminate so much. dan heng is grateful that you couldn’t see the way his previous expression melted away. he takes two strides towards you and you’re already backed into the counter. you prop yourself up, holding the orange close to you, as dan heng comes closer.

“you’re going to make a mess,” dan heng advises you. he sounds like a nagging husband. you let yourself be amused with the comparison at first, but then the implication of your thought kicks in, and you find yourself subconsciously inching away from dan heng. he only comes closer, almost making his way between your thighs.

“am not,” you hide the orange behind your back, “and if you want it, come and get it,” you prompt with a smirk.

dan heng’s eyes narrow: not in an annoyed way, but rather, in a challenging way. his arm slinks behind your back and tries to reach your hand, but you throw your arm in the air. you hold the orange up in the air for a while, moving your arm in all sorts of different directions while dan heng tries to grab it. the dim kitchen is lit up by your conjoined laughters.

when you try to take the orange with your other hand, dan heng’s hand interlocks with yours midair, keeping it in place. with your temporal shock, dan heng manages to grab your wrist that holds the orange, trapping you in his grasp.

you blink down at him several times, wondering how he’s managed to get you in this position. the orange was still in your hands. you could choose to hold it tenderly, or drop it to the ground. there were more oranges anyway.

“can i have the orange back?” dan heng asks, looking up at you in such a way that could rival a star’s glow.

you take a second to answer his question. now you can look at him: finally look at him. his hair, though tussled and messy, falls into his face in perfect waves. he is as tranquil as the ocean itself, but he still has rough currents.

his eyes are never wary around you. they are calm and peaceful, always gazing at you in the quietest ways.

did his lips always look so soft? or were you just imagining things?

you lower the orange down with your hand, and dan heng removes his hands from yours. you take your other freed hand and bring it over to cover the orange, in case it falls. when your covered hand meet’s dan heng’s open one, you look up at him with mischief in your eyes.

the hand once covered the orange moved to peel off a piece of skin. but, since you never knew how to peel oranges, your peeling method was disastrous: juice squirted out of the orange, and it landed perfectly under dan heng’s eye.

you snickered a little bit, then you began to laugh a little more loudly than permitted. dan heng was left with a deadpan expression, no longer in shock or disbelief. in hindsight, he should have known there was something like this coming. but what can he say; he loves you too much.

“i’m sorry!” you say in between laughs, your hand (the same one that got orange juice on his face) covered your mouth as you laughed. “i’m sorry,” you giggled.

“what did i tell you? i hope you know you’re gonna be cleaning⎯” dan heng is distracted by your thumb making contact under his eye, where the juice was sprayed. he’s stunned momentarily, eyes watching your thumb carefully as you wipe the juice off his face.

with the excess juice on your thumb, you do something so provocative that dan heng is eternally grateful for the dim lighting. you take your thumb and put it in your mouth, sucking the juice off your finger. the sight makes his eye twitch a little, only amusing you further.

you cover your next laugh with the paper towel that you use to wipe off your finger, “i’ll clean up the orange juice,” you tell him, sliding off the counter, “but isn’t this just more proof that you need to teach me how to peel oranges?”

“i think this is more proof that oranges need to be taken away from you,” dan heng counters, bemusement evident in his tone. he faces away from you now, trying to fight his blush from earlier (and now).

you gasp, “but isn’t this just a good way to teach me?! i just wanna peel my own oranges, man. what if you’re not here and i’m stuck orangeless! i don’t even wanna think about⎯mmph!?”

dan heng sticks an orange slice into your mouth.

he tries to ignore how you had just said that you’d be sad without him, even if you were probably referring to the oranges.

dan heng puts his fist up to his mouth, trying his best to contain his own laughter at your puzzled face. you chew and swallow the orange, only to look at him with bewilderment.

“what was that for!?”

“you were talking too much,” he shrugs. you kick his shin.

on the kitchen island, you see that one side of the orange hasn’t been fully peeled like the other. one side⎯the side you just ate⎯had no white strings on it. it was a perfectly naked orange.

the other side had lots of white string. this was also the side that sprayed dan heng.

while you may not know much about peeling oranges, you know how to remove string. you grab the orange once again, this time peeling the white string off of the orange fruit. you’re extremely focused, and dan heng thought you couldn’t get any cuter. how marvelous it must feel to fall drunker and drunker in love with you every minute.

when you get rid of the excess string, you look up at dan heng with hopeful eyes. you’re showing him what you just did; you’re expecting something. dan heng goes to open his mouth to say something, but he’s interrupted by an orange slice colliding with his mouth.

“not so nice when it’s you, huh?” you poke his chest, grabbing a slice of orange for yourself. you two chew in silence as you both finish off an orange slice.

“you do realize you could have used a slice from the half that didn’t have any white stuff, right?” dan heng tells you after he finishes eating. you set the orange on the counter as you wipe your hands off.

“yeah, but i wanted to do more work,” for you. you wanted to do more work for dan heng. you didn’t want him to always peel oranges for you. you wanted him to take a break. to relax. to enjoy himself for once in his life. even if it was a little thing such as peeling the white strings off of an orange, you hope that you can bring him the tranquility he never had before.

but little do you know, dan heng has been doing the opposite thing for you. he peels oranges so you don’t have to; because he doesn’t want you to work so much. he peels oranges to make life easier for you, because he knows how you get during the night. he peels oranges when you cannot, so you know that you always have someone there to guide you to the light.

dan heng is speechless. he only stares at your smile, completely different from earlier in the night. it’s toned down, more quiet, more sincere. you look up at him with anticipation lurking within you. you look up at him with enthusiasm and excitement and stars. it was criminally easy: how dan heng was able to love you.

but he couldn’t tell you. not yet, anyway.

“you’d stop peeling after the second orange,” dan heng jokes, poking your cheek. you puff them up in an attempt to shake his finger off, but he still stayed. you unpuffed your cheeks and rolled your eyes.

“i would not,” you cross your arms and stick your tongue out at him, “you know what, i think i’ll ask mr. yang to teach me. then i’ll be a real peeler master.”

a selfish part of dan heng wants to stop you and teach you himself. a selfish part of him only wants you to himself. it seemed stupid and moronic to consider mr. yang as some sort of rival, but he couldn’t ignore the way his heart stopped at the mention of someone else. maybe it was because that meant these nights between the two of you would be over.

but with the smirk you give him after your sentence, dan heng knows these nights will be far from over. he leans onto the counter with one hand propping him up.

“if you say so. i can’t wait for the day to arrive,” dan heng says, sarcasm dripping from his tone.

he hopes the day that you learn how to peel your own oranges, never shows up.

Can I request a angst to comfort Albedo x reader (I’m unsure if I wanna request it as KOF captain!reader) where Albedo and Sucrose are spending a lot of time and reader is fine with it on the outside but on the inside selfishly wants Albedo’s attention. When reader asks for their time so they can go out and do something, Albedo disregards them, not paying attention to them while focused on something with Sucrose and reader decides to leave and finds themselves hanging out with Diluc outside of Mondstadt walls. With Albedo, he finally takes a break and find reader not waiting for him. He goes looking for them when commotions happens and he is informed that reader was in a accident. He goes to Barbara and find reader getting treated for wounds but is also in some type of coma. Albedo is in distress seeing reader not waking up and stays with them till he can’t. This accident starts to affect his work till he gets news that reader is awake. Then apologizing ensue and heartfelt reunification. Angst to fluff comfort

What a lovely request!! Hurt to comfort is one of my favorites! I had so much fun writing this oml albedo is one of my favs. the new summer quests just made me love him more <3 I really hope it is to your liking! It also ended up being rather long I think... Hmm (Side note: hopefully I wrote the relationships in a way you were imagining!!)

"I won't take you for Granted." ~ Albedo x Gn!Reader

Summary: You find yourself missing spending time with albedo, yearning for some time alone with him, only to be pushed away. When you get into an accident, Albedo is forced to reflect upon your relationship, as he misses you more each day.

Characters: Albedo, Reader, (mentioned): Jean, Kaeya, Barbara, Diluc.

Content/Warnings: Hurt comfort/ angst to fluff, description of injuries, reader in coma (you wake up), some cuddles and kisses at the end.

Reader Pronouns: Gender neutral / They/them.

A/n: to the other anon who requested keqing: the fic is in progress and should be out soon ;) + proofread this at 1:30 am so apologies for any typos

(Content below the cut! <3)

You wiped your brow, letting your weapon rest against the wall of your office with a sigh. Training new recruits for the Knights of Favonius was never easy, but you always loved the enthusiasm from the rookies. This particular bunch had been pushing you for harder training, but with the satisfaction of teaching also came the fatigue of combat.

You walked over to your desk, eyeing the schedule you had left lying there. Lunch, perfect timing. It always felt nice to have a good meal after hard training. "But it would be even better with Albedo." You thought. You stretched smiling to yourself. Yes, you would go see if your boyfriend was available for lunch. He was always a good listener, and you would be able to tell him about the eventful training that morning.

Pushing open the door to the office, you spotted Kaeya and the acting Grand Master chatting in the hall. Kaeya gave you a small wave. "Ah, good afternoon Y/n."

"Hello." You waved back. "Hey, while I have you here, have either of you seen Albedo? I'm off for lunch and I thought I'd stop by to see him." You shrugged. Being high ranking knights such as yourself, you reckoned there was good chance that they had seen the alchemist recently.

"Albedo? Hm.." Jean said hand resting on her hip. "I believe he is with Sucrose, in her lab. I don't understand alchemy very well but it sounds like they're working hard at something."

"Thank you, Master Jean." You nodded and walked away, headed for the stairs at the end of the corridor. Albedo was with Sucrose again. You weren't surprised, he was her Mentor after all. You shook off the twinge of what could only be jealousy, as you turned the corner, heading for the door you knew lead to the girl's lab. You gave a quick clear knock, tapping the wood a few times with you fist and taking a step back.

You heard a small scuffle from inside and soon the timid Sucrose appeared on the other side of the doorway. "O-oh! Hello Y/n." She stammered. From the looks of it she hadn't been expecting you. "Are you looking for Mr. Albedo? Let me get him for you." Without waiting for your response, she disappeared again.

You shook your head. Sucrose was always on the shy side, and you hoped you hadn't freaked her out. She wasn't wrong though you had come to her lab several times over the past week, looking for Albedo. Unfortunately, everytime he had dismissed you or apologized, saying he really must work. Then he would turn, and disappear back into Sucrose's lab. You tried to remain low key about the situation. It was common knowledge Albedo was both an incredibly gifted alchemist and not a social butterfly, but you were used to spending more time with him.

You were snapped out of your reverie as the man in question appeared in the door. "Is something the matter Y/n?" He asked, his soft voice monotone and direct.

"Oh, yeah. I was on my way to pick something up from Good Hunter. It's lunch break." You gestured over your shoulder, in the general direction of the town. "I was wondering if you wanted to join me, it's been a while since we've done something." You gave an apologetic smile, trying not to sound to pushy. You knew his work was important, to him and the knights.

Albedo shook his head, expression unchanging. "I am sorry, Y/n, but sucrose and I really must keep working. Alchemy is an ever evolving practice." He had that determined look in his eye that he always got when his work posed a new challenge to him. He made eye contact with the green haired girl, who nodded back with the same enthusiasm. These alchemists held a different level of resolve entirely.

"I understand, good luck in your work." The smile on your face felt a bit more forced than you would have liked. You decided it was time to be honest with your partner. "But seriously Albedo, it's been quite some time since we were able t-" He turned his face away from you pointedly. "... To do something..." Your voice trailed off and you sighed, watching him return to Sucrose's side as the pair worked in tandem leaving you to your thoughts. You closed the door, taking a deep breath.

You turned, trudging away from the lab. You felt a prick of a dark feeling and shook your head trying to right yourself. Surely, there was nothing to worry about. You knew both Albedo and Sucrose quite well, and we're positive that the idea Albedo could be in love with her was out of the question. Then why did you feel so... so bad? You pushed the feeling away attributing it to a mix of you hunger and weariness from the hard morning. You headed for the entrance door, meeting once more with Kaeya and Jean.

"Albedo somewhere else? He always did have a habit of sneaking off when nobody was looking." Kaeya asked you, with a small laugh. You blinked, slightly confused.

"No, he was there. Working as hard as ever." You said, shaking your head and doing your best to look unbothered.

"Y/n is something bothering you?" The acting Grand Master looked at you with tender concern. Something about your body language seemed a bit off, even if your face was as cheery as ever.

You shook your head again, more vigorously. "I mean, nothing personal of course. Those rookies gave me a run for my mora in training this morning though, I'll admit." You faked a yawn, trying to sell the tired act. "Not anything lunch won't fix, in any case." You finished with wave, and you headed out the door, eager to escape the conversation.

You ordered your usual from Sara, who was as kind as ever, and taking your food in a to-go box headed towards the city gates. You liked to enjoy your lunch outside the city walls, though usually you preferred to do it with company. Walks in nature with Albedo were always pleasant. Occasionally he'd find an interesting plant, or a butterfly with an odd pattern and get distracted as he examined it. The alchemist would tell you about the strange flora and fauna of Teyvat and seeing him so passionate about something always made your heart flutter. Albedo was not a talkative person, so the moments where he was deep in thought about a subject brought out a side of him most people often didn't see.

Kind memories of Albedo slowly looped back to him in Sucrose's lab, the way he seemed so intent on what she was saying, the way they seemed almost in sync with their thoughts. You felt bad, for wanting him to yourself, even If it was just for a mealtime. You tried to ignore it, it made you feel selfish, and possessive. You hated feeling jealous, but was it too much to ask for some Alone time with your boyfriend? You missed the way he would sit attentively and listen, and tell you all of his most recent thoughts, show you his new paintings, and let you into his life.

A choking feeling rose in your chest, unable to push the feeling away anymore you felt it wash over you in dark waves. You thought getting away from the city would do you some good. You sped up a little as you exited Mondstadt's walls, yearning for time away from the hustle and bustle.

As you cleared the gates, you met a familiar face. A tall red headed man was in conversation with one of the knights guarding the entrance gate. The man turned away ending the conversation abruptly, leaving the poor Knight looking helpless, and a bit frustrated. When you passed the guard he saluted you with a muttered "Afternoon, Captain Y/n."

The man turned, overhearing the exchange. "Y/n? I don't typically concern myself with knights but, aren't you supposed to be working?" His voice was slightly heated and you guessed whatever conversation he and the guard had finished was not a pleasant one.

"Good afternoon, Master Diluc." You plastered a smile on your face as you walked nearer to him. "I just finished actually, lunch break." You held up the box of warm food in your hands. And then added, under your breath, "I'm of half a mind to not go back today." You walked past Diluc, beginning to cross the bridge.

"Are you planning on eating away from the city?" He asked, taking a few strides to catch up to you. "Yeah, that's the plan. Just me and nature I guess." You couldn't hide the upset tone of your voice this time and the man next to you looked down in concern.

"I'll accompany you. From the sounds of it-" he cast a scathing look back at the guard who flinched under his gaze. "-there's a couple abyss mages running rampant nearby. It's not smart to head out alone."

"Mm.. I'll have a chat with him when I return then." You glanced at the guard who was now positively shaking. "Although, that's a problem for after lunch." You agreed, and the two of you set out away from the city of freedom. Diluc had always had a strong sense of justice, and you knew he would insist to escort you, in the name of caution. You also couldn't find it in yourself to explain you wanted alone time, fearing that if you mentioned anything you might breakdown entirely.

You had met diluc some years prior. You had both joined the Knights of Favonius when you were teenagers and had gotten on well. You kept in contact ever since, and if there was ever an issue you couldn't fix because of your ties to the knights, you would find diluc, and when there was a problem too big for him to handle alone, he would find you. Ever since a coincidental meeting in the middle of the night some time ago has revealed his double life as a vigilante, you had grown to be good friends.

You walked in comfortable silence, which was normal for the two of you, but as the silence hung over you, it gave space for your doubts to fester. Diluc peered at your face, noticing the way you were biting your cheek and how your eyebrows knit.

He cleared his throat, before hesitantly speaking. "Something seems to be bothering you, Y/n." His words were gentler than usual, giving away to his concern.

"No? Nothing." You said. Your voice was full of an exaggerated incredulity, as you tried and failed to act nonchalant. "What even made you think that?"

Diluc sighed giving you an 'Are you serious?' look that you pointedly avoided, turning you eyes to the worn path. "Do you really need me to answer that question?" He was exasperated, and you knew you were caught, but you stubbornly pushed through.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's not like you too worry in any case. Are you okay?" It was all a lie, but you were convinced pretending you were fine would ease the creeping feeling still sitting heavily in your chest. Diluc raised an eyebrow at you. "I think I hold a reasonable amount of concern."

You knew he had a point. Your cool facade surrounding the your troubles had slowly been cracking, as if being chipped away by a chisel of doubt. When your companion had asked you what the matter was, you had barely enough to cover your problems anymore. You crossed your arms tightly, turning to look at Diluc. Under the look he gave you, you sighed and let your arms relax, anxiously drumming your fingertips on the box of food.

"Yeah... Yeah something is bothering me." You admitted. "It's really not a big deal though, I know I shouldn't be upset." You fiddled with the box not sure where to go with the conversation. Truth be told you were hoping the subject would drop, if Diluc pressed matters you would have to admit your feelings out loud.

The man beside you hummed, apparently thinking on it. "Is there any way I can be of assistance?" He said simply. You shook your head, making your way to a large bent over tree, and perched yourself on top of it. Diluc sat next to you.

"I appreciate the offer, but really I don't think you can." You felt helpless at the moment. Could anyone help you? What would you even ask for help with, pulling Albedo away from work, getting the attention you wanted? Of course not, you would sound insane. Your hands shook slightly and you set your food on the ground near your feet, suddenly not hungry, the knot in your stomach taking up too much space.

"Would you like to... Talk? About it?" Diluc's question was gentle. You knew he wanted to help where he could. "I might not have the best advice, but I'd gladly listen to you Y/n."

You were quiet, the offer hanging tantalizingly in the air. You did want to talk about it. Letting your emotions sit twisting around in you like smoke, making you feel sick, was doing you no good in any case. You nodded slowly. "It- Well I know that it's irrational-"

Suddenly there was a loud panting and ruffling sound from the trees behind you and you snapped your head around. Eyes fixed on the scenery with intent, you and Diluc slowly stood, both immediately on guard. Then, from the brush a man stumbled out. He looked like a resident of one of the nearby towns, a basket on his back spilling out mushrooms he had been foraging for moments before. You rushed to his side, weapon drawn and help steadily at the ready.

"Excuse me sir, are you hurt?" You asked urgently.

"N-no I- Abyss mages. Two of them." He panted as you helped him to his feet. The fellow seemed unhurt but thoroughly shaken. "And hilichurls!" You did your best to calm the man as Diluc kept his eyes fixed on the trees.

"You should head back to town, Springvale is near." You soothed. The man nodded, gratefully scrambling away from the trees he had just come from.

"Diluc we need to take care of these as soon as possible." You had slipped into your work mode, voice clear and sharp and you analysed the situation at hand. "This close to the villages... It's a recipe for disaster."

Diluc nodded agreement, his claymore held ready at his side. With that the two of you were sprinting into the foliage, the safety of the city laying priority in both of your minds.

Albedo's hands turned pages in a large book, as his eyes lay fixed on the small vile of strange liquid In front of him. He picked it up briefly, swishing the contents around, before taking a quill to the pages of his journal. He and sucrose had been working with a new ingredient in the lab over the past week, and we're studying it to find out it's origins and how it was to be used, as the reactions they had so far varied wildly.

With a huff, Sucrose dropped a heavy book beside him, pointing to a highlighted passage. "Mr. Albedo I think I found a family of flora which could possibly yield similar results." Her voice was meeker than usual, catching Albedo's attention. He took his attention away from the book, observing Sucrose's weary eyes and slumped shoulders. They had been working tirelessly for days, and it was only natural she be tired.

Albedo nodded at the book. "I appreciate it sucrose. I think you have well earned some rest now." It was a bit after lunch time in any case, and he was starting to get hungry. Sucrose agreed gratefully.

"Uhm- Mr. Albedo, are you going to find Captain Y/n?" Sucrose stammered, and she swallowed hard when Albedo turned to look at her. "Well Y/n has showed up a few times a-and I think maybe you should go see them?" She finished unsurely.

Albedo's expression was unusually soft. He had been planning to see you. Giving a break for lunch was just as much to see you as it was to give Sucrose some rest time. "Yes. I was planning on finding them." He checked the clock that was hanging above the door, noting that at this time you would still be out. You liked to take your time over lunch, stopping to look at flowers or simply enjoy the outside. That was one of the things Albedo loved about you, was that you appreciated nature like he did.

He pulled on his coat which he had discarded in the stuffy lab, and opened the door striding out into the hall. Making his way down the corridor he gave a quick acknowledgement to his fellows as he passed, making his way to your usual lunch spot, stopping by good Hunter as he walked.

His pace was a bit brisker than usual, and as he strolled through the streets he became more engrossed in his thoughts of you. Perhaps he had been a bit harsh earlier, he thought. It wasn't his intention but he would make it up by giving you his full attention over lunch. He was on the tired side from an intensive few days studying, and wanted nothing more to lace his fingers in yours as you talked about your week with him. He could sit in silence and enjoy your company. A small smile pulled at his lips as he imagined it, turning onto the hard dirt path outside of Mondstadt.

He spied your lunch spot, finding it empty. He frowned, perhaps you had gone back to headquarters early. He noticed something was off as he approached the crooked log. A tin a food lay near the base of the log, apparently flipped over and discarded. Shooing a squirrel away from the tipped over contents, he recognized the ingredients as part of your usual order. He stood up quickly scanning the ground. There were small signs of a struggle, the brush behind the log was slightly flattened, several bushes bore broken twigs.

His heart skipped a beat. He shook off the feeling you might be hurt, you knew how to handle yourself in a fight. He stood uselessly eyes glued to that tipped over box of food. The meal was still warm. He remembered a time you told him you asked for hot food on days when you didn't feel your best. 'Something about it is comforting, you know? It's like getting a hug from your food almost!'

The memory of how you laughed about that stuck out in his mind. The feeling something was wrong grew stronger, as his eyes found a set of foot prints. Two sets. From the spacing he gathered they had run off into the forest, offering explanation for the trampled plants. He followed them, something urgent had definitely drawn you away from your lunch. Albedo drew his sword as he navigated his way carefully through the trees. His practiced eyes followed the path, picking up trampled flowers and more foot prints. He marched into a clearing, avoiding some felled trees. Scorch marks. The beaten trail he had been following appeared to go ahead but the alchemist stopped, caution becoming his priority.

"Y/n? Y/n are you here?" He called out. Your voice did not answer but he heard others, a group of people. He snapped his head around when he heard the faint desperate voices. They sounded serious, perhaps urgent. Albedo rushed away from the clearing and towards the voices, heading towards the nearby Springvale. The voices seemed somewhere between him and the town and as he ran, he noticed more foot prints. This time there was one set only.

He rounded a corner spotting a small group of people. Still no sign of you. He reminded himself that there was a chance you were not involved in whatever happened here as he approached the villagers.

"Excuse me, has something happened?" Albedo let his weapon go as he in joined the conversation. At the sound of his voice a woman turned nodding, her face anxious.

"A monster attack, they were staying near the town and a few of the villagers get caught." Her voice was shaky, and clearly she was in shock. "My husband was one of them."

"A couple of the city folk ran in to save them." A man added it, patting the woman on the shoulder to calm her. "Actually it was that Ragnivindr boy. And one of the Knights of Favonius's captains. Can't remember that one's name, Y/n I believe?" He shook his head, trying to recall the details. His description of you matched perfectly and Albedo tensed.

"Where are they now?" Albedo urged.

"Headed back to the city. They cleared those monsters right up but not without consequence." The man sighed, a bit sadly. "That Knight looked pretty badly injured. Had to be carried back, and quickly too." He said, and began to muse about the risk of such dangerous creatures near their town, but Albedo had already turned and began headed for Mondstadt.

The journey back to the city passed in a blur, as Albedo rushed over the bridge and passed the gates, anxious to make sure you were okay. He was unsure where to go first, and decided ultimately to ask Jean. Albedo was remaining calm on the outside but internally he was bordering Panic. He knew you had an instinct for protecting others, but he really could do without you running into battles randomly. Unfortunately, that was part of your job. Albedo steadied his thoughts as he walked into headquarters, logical thinking was typically his strong suit but there was no logic behind emotional distress like this. The only way to deal with it would be to try not to worry. Which currently, was not working for him.

Without knocking he walked into Jeans office, to find her talking to a tall well dressed man, that he recognized as Diluc. The two turned around looking for who was responsible for the sudden entrance. "Apologies for the intrusion." Albedo kept his voice calm, outwardly showing no sign of distress. "I heard Captain Y/n may have gotten into some trouble."

Jean nodded. "I was wondering if you might show up. I was just talking to Master Diluc about it." She looked at him now. "I'm not sure what happened myself, needless to say I'm surprised you took the time to come here."

Diluc sighed, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. It was true that normally, he would not be found in the Favonius headquarters, but something seemed to be off about him. "Yes, normally I would trust that Y/n would have no issue filling you in themselves, but I doubt that is going to happen this time."

Albedo and Jean looked at diluc, with looks of concern and curiousity. Diluc proceeded to fill the two in on what had happened.

There had been more hilichurls than you had expected when the two of you had found their camp. There was only one Abyss mage to be found though, so Diluc and you had jumped in preparing for a hard fight. You were managing well, despite the extra effort needed to compensate for numbers. The second abyss mage however, had used the commotion to sneak up and ambush you, but it's attempt did not go unnoticed. The mage had aimed a cryo attack at Diluc, and without time to warn him you had thrown yourself between the mage and your friend, taking the full blast of the attack.

Diluc had his eyes fixed on his feet. "Barbara is taking care of the injuries now."

"How bad are they?" Jean asked, worry lacing her voice. She felt the Knights were her responsibility, and her deep care for each of them left her with a twinge of guilt.

Diluc didn't answer at first, and Albedo began to fear the worst. If he knew you would be okay he could quell his worries but here... Something like this was out of his control and it made his heart clench.

"Not fatal." Diluc said finally, after some consideration. "I've seen people come out of worse, nothing Barbara can't handle for sure but..." He trailed off.

"Is there something else?" Albedo's question came out a bit sharper than he intended, letting some of his internal feeling slip into his tone. Diluc looked at him, slightly sadly and shook his head.

"No, that's all." He turned and walked out of the office, not paying either of the knights another glance. In truth, there was more too it. Diluc had seen firsthand how lifeless your body had fallen after getting hit. Your skin had been cold and breath faint as he carried your limp form to the cathedral. The way Barbara had gasped as she laid a hand over your chest exclaiming how distant your life force felt. The guilt he felt kept him from telling Albedo exactly what was happening. You had mentioned you had started seeing him before, and the regret Diluc was feeling about your injuries made looking at him a little too difficult.

Albedo was frozen in place as he tried to process what to do next. A dark feeling of guilt and worry was eating at his insides, keeping him stuck uselessly in place. Luckily, Jean provided him with an out.

"Go check on Y/n, Albedo." She said softly. Though you two had not publicized your relationship, the Acting Grand Master was not oblivious to the fact he had grown close to you. "Let me know how bad the situation is when you return, unfortunately I still have much work to do." She returned to her seat, leaning on her desk with a knowing look.

Albedo nodded. "I will, thank you Master Jean." He turned, leaving Jean alone with her work and worries. Shutting the door behind him he began making his way towards the cathedral. He past the large statue in the square, climbing the stairs with haste, and entering the large building.

Inside was quiet, and though the people inside went about their daily lives, praying and chatting Albedo couldn't help but feel a heaviness to the air, pressing down on his chest. He walked as quickly as he could, approaching a small arched doorway in the back of the church that lead to a small infirmary. He rushed through it, nearly running into one of the church's sisters in the process.

"Apologies, miss." He said taking a step back. The nun looked at him with a kind smile, holding her hand up in a friendly gesture.

"No worries. Is everything alright? You seem to be in a hurry." She asked, checking Albedo for scratches or cuts. "You don't seemed to be injured?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm here to see somebody who was brought here recently, a knight by the name of Y/n?"

Even the sister could hear the strain in his voice, noticing the way his brows knit in both worry and hope. The girl's face fell as he mentioned your name, looking at him with slight pity and Albedo's heart lurched. "How.. how bad of condition..." His voice faltered and he clenched his jaw.

The nun rested a hand on his shoulder momentarily. "It'll be okay, Barbara is seeing to the healing now." She gestured to a door down the hall a ways and suddenly Albedo moved by her, heading towards the door.

As he slid by her she let out a cry of protest, but he paid it no mind as he reached for the door. His thoughts were jumbled, only focusing on seeing you okay. He had finally gotten the chance to see you today and he had pushed you away, again. Regret bubbled as he pushed the door open, and took in the sight before him.

Barbara stood near the edge of the bed concentrating as she held her hands over her chest, faint blue light pulsing around her finger tips. You lay unmoving before him, bandages that were quickly wrapped around your chest to stop the bleeding where you were hit had already been dyed red. Your skin looked pale and clammy, the only sign you were still living was the deepening red of the bandages as your heart still beat, if even faintly.

Albedo stopped dead, unable to look away from your body played sprawled on the bed, vision and jacket discarded on a nearby table. Suddenly the nun was at his back again.

"Excuse me sir, we best not disturb the deaconess. She needs full concentration." She said softly. No matter how many injuries the sisters saw too it didn't make it any easier to see people suffer.

"Please, I need to see Y/n." He said as the nun gently guided him away. "I won't leave them alone this time. It's not a good idea t-" The woman hushed him trying to reassure him.

"Barbara knows what's she's doing, she'll have the injuries healed soon sir. Perhaps it would be best to take a walk and come back tomorrow." She suggested and made to return to her work, leaving Albedo alone and stranded.

Barely noticing what he was doing, he began walking, out of the cathedral and towards the Knight's headquarters once again. He knew you would be in safe hands with the sisters, but he couldn't shake the image of your beaten skin from his mind's eye. He dragged himself into the building, aptly avoiding any other knights. He didn't feel like conversation much now. He pushed open the door to his office, half of which was converted to a lab and and moved inside, standing uselessly near his desk.

His eyes moved to the ample amounts of notes that lay in a disorganized mess a top his desk. He always said he would organize them, but it never happened. You had offered to help him telling him that "It might be no fun, but it'll be better together." His hands trembled. He had never reached a state like this before. He had grown so accustomed to your presence he never noticed how much he needed it until it was nearly pulled away from him. Head feeling light, he slipped behind his desk collapsing into the chair. He needed to unwind, to bring his mind into a state where he could return to focus.

His hands opened a drawer subconsciously, reaching for a blank sheet of canvas and a stick of charcoal. It had been a while since he painted anything. He pulled the supplies onto his desk, lazily brushing away studies as he made room for it. Bright eyes scanned the room and settled on a vase of flowers. The beautiful plant within happened to be one of your favorites. Albedo began to sketch, slowly letting the image appear before him. The drawing was supposed to ease his mind but he couldn't help but think how much you would have liked it, the soft encouragement you would give him if you were there, and he slowly sketched his nerves away, left with pleasant thoughts of giving this to you when you were back. You would be better tomorrow, he assured himself, and he would go apologize for missing lunch with you. It wouldn't be much trouble to eat his lunch in the cathedral, as long as you were okay. And with a solid plan in place, his mind was at peace again. If only he knew how it was going to be shattered.

The next morning came and went like usual, and Albedo took the time to fill Jean in on the situation before returning to his work. Come lunch time he let Sucrose go, telling her to be back in an hour and a half. "Sucrose take this time to yourself. Use it how you wish, I will not get in the way of any independent work you decide to do." He said, waving away her rather over enthusiastic thanks as he left the lab, heading to the cathedral.

He took his time walking through the streets the time, appreciating the lively shops, and the way children laughed and ran around the cobbled streets. Usually, this bustling city life was of intrigue to him, observing the haggling and patterns in which people came and went, but he had other things on his mind today. You.

As he entered the cathedral he met no staff as he headed back to the infirmary this time, heading straight to the door without complication. He set his hand on the handle, before deciding it might be best to knock instead. After a short moment, the young deaconess appeared behind the door.

"Ah, Albedo!" She smiled wearily. From the looks of her ruffled skirts and tired face she had been working all night. "Sister Victoria mentioned you might visit. Come in." She stepped aside letting Albedo into the room.

Your bandages were clean, and wrapped properly now, and you had been changed into a light nightgown, your work clothes removed to be clean. You looked so peaceful, lying so still with your hands on your stomach. Too still, perhaps. Albedo approached the bed, taking a delicate hand to your cheek, brushing his fingers against your skin. It was colder than he would have expected. He moved his hand to hover over your nose and mouth, feeling the faint breath there his shoulders relaxed, but something still felt off.

"Have they woken up yet..?" He asked. Albedo was a smart person, and he knew something was wrong but he was scared to draw any conclusions.

Barabara looked sad. "No. Y/n has been unresponsive, even to my elemental magic." She shook her head. She didn't want to say it to Albedo, but she had feared you were dead before she had used her vision to check you life force.

"When will they wake-up." He said shortly.

Barbara paused, not wanting to deliver the news. "I'm not sure, for the time being Y/n is in-" she took a shaky breath. She too had grown to know you better as you had come in with small injuries often, or were with jean working, and this accident had not left her unaffected. "In comatose." She finished unable to meet Albedo's gaze.

That was no issue though, if she had tried he would have avoided eye contact himself. He wanted to tell Barbara she was wrong, that it hadn't been long enough to tell but he was a learned man and recognized the signs himself.

"Albedo I-"

Albedo shook his head. "You did your job to it's full extent, thank you." He said honestly. If it weren't for Barbara, your wounds would never have healed so quickly, or so nicely. "I would like have some time alone."

Barbara nodded knowingly, leaving Albedo to pull up a chair and sir silently beside your bed. He hand found yours and he interlaced his fingers with with yours, but did not feel the familiar squeeze you always gave him when he did this. He had convinced himself you would be okay, only for that small hope to be ripped away from him too.

Albedo was not a very sensitive person. He was logical, and a realist, but you meeting you had brought in a strange yet warm feeling into his life he had never felt before. You intrigued him, and you took the time to understand him and get to know him. Lots of people were either infatuated with his good manners and kind words, but you had taken the time to listen to them, and he was realizing that these past few weeks he had never given you that time back. He had taken you for granted, spent his time with other people, and turned you away in times where he didn't realise how much you meant to him. Now as you lay unmoving infront of him he realized how much he yearned for your company.

Had he made you feel like this? All those times he declined your invites or pushed you away to work. He couldn't help but feel he had treated those situations wrongly, you had only offered him some company. He had been working and he knew you knew that, but he began to think he had treated you to harshly. Relationships like this were new to him, and you were always so gentle and patient. He should have gone with you today, prevented the terrible outcome. His mind ran probabilities, weighing situations against each other as he imagined ways he could have stepped in to stop you, or how the fight could play out differently.

He leaned forward, holding both of your hands gently in his, as the feelings washed over him. How curious, that a single person could move his heart so strongly.

Time passed both to slowly and too quickly. Albedo stayed by your side well into the evening hours. Every once in a while he found himself drifting off to sleep head resting on your chest, desperate to feel the slight rise and fall no matter how irregular it was. When Barbara returned to the room, it was to usher Albedo out of the cathedral, as she began her nightly duties.

"Albedo, it's time for me to see Y/n again, we'll be starting our nightly rounds here soon." Barbara said in a soothing tone. "You should head home for the night, I'll take good care of the Captain."

Albedo nodded slowly, slightly groggy from the half asleep state he was just in. He stood, brushing off his jacket and giving your resting face a look of longing before quietly walking out of your room. Barbara closed the door, and he was alone with his thoughts again. The night ushered in more issues, including the work he had left unfinished that afternoon. He decided that best course of action was to get a good night's sleep and organize his thoughts in the morning, and he walked off into the night.

The next week in the Alchemy lab was dreary to say the least. Albedo's work quality dropped as well as his focus, as he plowed through experiments clumsily. Sucrose was finding herself with random breaks through the day, and had put together they were more for his own sake, than hers. Work was typically Albedo's escape. He would be able to pour himself into his studies, mindlessly observe and take note but he kept finding things that reminding him of you. Maybe it was a color that he thought you would have liked, or some ancient script you would giggle at pointing out how the letters looked like weird animals. Your absence from his life had left a large hole, that no amount of alchemy could fill. He tried painting, but every time he picked up a brush he found himself painting your favorite things, or places, or telling himself he would give you the drawings when you woke up. When you woke up. Your sleeping face was etched into his mind as if with a fine quill.

You were so devoid of life, all because of a stupid accident and he couldn't bear it. Everytime he visited the hope he would find you laying awake and upright grew dimmer, and soon he began to expect nothing more than your still body, cold and unmoving. Everytime he saw you it was accompanied by a pang of guilt, and longing for your return. Every evening when he decided he could focus on work no more he would make his way to the cathedral and sit by your side until dark, and then a sister would usher him out once more and he would leave, only to repeat it again the next day.

His life moved forward in this depressing spiral for days, until one evening as he made to leave headquarters he was stopped by none other than Jean.

"Albedo?" The dandelion knight called out to him and he stopped, preparing to head out the door. Jean walked over to him. "Before you go I have something for you."

Albedo turned around, curiosity piqued. "Sure." He said simply as the woman pulled a letter from her pocket and handed it to him. He studied the seal, recognizing the symbol of the church pressed into the wax. His heart skipped a beat, as he feared both the worst and hoped for the best.

"Barbara told me I should let you read it yourself. I have already seen the contents myself." Jean couldn't keep the smile from creeping into her voice as Albedo slid a piece of paper from the envelope, unfolding it hastily.

His eyes scanned the letter. It was short and sweet, written by one of the sisters. He barely absorbed the content as his attention was taken by one phrase over the rest.

'Y/n has woken up and will make a full recovery, we will keep you updated on their condition and let you know when they are fit to return to work.'

Albedo's heart leapt. As he reread the line a few times. 'Y/n will make a full recovery.' He handed the letter back to Jean. "Thank you. This is wonderful news indeed." A small smile played on his lips, and his soft voice lost the edge it had carried all week. He pivoted on his heel pushing open the door with an enthusiasm that Jean had not seen before, and strolled out of the building.

He felt the pressure that had been so present in his chest for days alleviate as he grew closer to the cathedral. Albedo was practically jogging with the pace he entered the church, throwing open the door and making a beeline for the infirmary. His head pounded, hazy at the good news. It all seemed to be happening so fast, was it possible that after all of that you could be okay? That you were going to be okay? He found Barbara in the infirmary hallway and she gave him a warm smile, different from the sorrowful ones she had given for what had been many visits now.

Albedo paused outside of your door, taking a deep breath, and Barbara gave him a reassuring nod. "Y/n woke up some hours ago, just please be gentle, the affects of a coma can be quite draining."

Albedo nodded pushing open the door carefully and stepped inside. You were sat, looking out the small window on the other side of your bed, but you turned hearing the door open. Your heart fluttered as the blonde figure shut the door quietly and approached your bed, his eyes not leaving yours. You smiled softly, and weakly held out your hand and he took it, relishing in the returned warmth in your fingers as you gently pulled him on to your mattress and into a hug.

Albedo buried his head against your neck, letting you hold him close. The feeling of your hands pressing into his back and on his hair was all he could ask for after weeks of feeling them limp and lifeless.

You pulled away and your hands found each others, fingers intertwined as you laughed gently. "Been a little while, huh?" You hummed.

Albedo nodded still speechless.

"I'm sorry for making you worry, Albedo." You smoothed your fingers over the skin on the back of his hands, and he softened hearing you say his name. Oh, how he had missed that. Suddenly that familiar guilt crept into his throat, tightening it as he tried to speak. He had no idea what he wanted to say, before without thinking: "No, don't apologize Y/n. I'm sorry."

Suddenly the feelings he had felt over the past weeks welled up again and he felt his chest shake as he took a deep breath. You tucked a strand of stray ash blond behind his ear, smiling all the while. "For what?"

"For taking you for granted." He choked out, as the feelings spilled their way into words. "I'm sorry I pushed you away like that. I realise now that time with you is just as precious to me as it is to you. In a way this helped me realize that." He looked into your eyes, and his honest apology made your chest tighten.

"It's alright, I shouldn't have been so pushy. I understand your work is important I just.. missed you?" You sighed, voice week from your recent ailment. "It was selfish, I shouldn't feel entitled to you like that." Finally admitting it was difficult, and you felt a weight lift from your chest yet the feeling remained still.

Albedo leaned in and kissed your forehead gently and you relaxed under one of his rare affections. "Do not feel guilty for expecting that time from me, I admit you were right. Yet with all things there is a balance, my love." He said softly as you took him into your arms once more. It was rare to see him so touchy in a place that wasn't your home, but you welcomed it pulling him into your chest.

"I supposed your right." You agreed. "As usual." You lay against the pillows that were propping you up minutes before, the alchemist laying against your chest. He hummed softly at your joking praise and his arms tightened around you.

And that's how the two of you stayed for a long while. The relief of both of your apologies settled in place of that dark feeling that had previously sat heavily in both of your hearts, as you drifted back, into a more peaceful sleep. The weight of Albedo against you felt secure keeping you anchored. You ran a hand through his hair as you enjoyed the comfortable silence for a bit.

"Barbara told me you came here every day while I was asleep." You murmured.

Albedo turned his head so he wouldn't be speaking into your shoulder. "I did." He said simply and you smiled.

"That makes me feel a lot better, I'll be honest." Your hands worked through a few knots in his hair absent mindedly. "I'm still a little freaked out about the whole thing."

"I'm glad my presence was of some reassurance Y/n." Albedo pressed a fleeting kiss to your cheek, as there was a knock from the door. Albedo stood, your hands lingering for a moment in one another's as he went to open to door. Barbara stood there holding some fresh bandages.

"Excuse the intrusion but I need to check Y/n's injuries once more. I won't be long."

Albedo nodded stepping aside and letting the girl into the room, before stepping out himself. You gave him a look of confusion, wanting him to stay a little longer."Wait Albedo-"

"Don't worry. I'll be right here waiting for you when your finished. I won't leave you again."

You sat silently, nodding slightly.

"I promise Y/n." And with his sweet words echoing in your mind, Albedo gently shut the door to your room. He would not take you for granted ever again.

°•°

Vigil ✤ Kazuha

V i g i l

A/N: Here is the Kazuha angst, sweeties :')) I wrote this with my prepared angsty playlist hehe- I.. well, my heart cracked..

✤ She/her

Words: 3.9k

"Text in this format means dialogue in flashback!"

≿————- ❈ ————-≾

The memory of peering into the crib with excited blabbers remains fresh, untarnished with the passing of time.

It feels like it’s just yesterday when your mother reached for the wailing baby laying inside to hand him in your caring touch.

“This is your little brother, [Name].” you squealed when the boy clung unto your finger, “His name is Kazuha. Be a good sister for him, understand?”

“Yes!”

Ah, that did feel as if it was just yesterday.

“Nee-chan!”

Dropping the basket of laundry, you frantically looked around.

“Nee-chan!”

“Kazuha-!?”

He was sprinting, arms flailing as tears spilled past his eyes and panicked exclaims left his lips. His friend was chasing him from behind, laughing as he waved an undercooked fish—your brother’s worst nightmare.

Comedic but understandable.

“Tomo’s making me eat it!” your younger brother mumbled behind you, pointing accusingly towards his friend who sheepishly spluttered excuses at your stern gaze.

Taking the skewered fish in Tomo’s hands, you hummed, patting his and Kazuha’s heads.

“How about I cook something for the both of you, instead? How’s that sound?”

“Yes, please! Nee-chan’s cooking is the best!”

You can never get tired of cooking for the two of them, even if your sibling eventually asked to be taught, you find yourself still taking over cooking duty. Lovingly whipping up dishes is your forte.

It stuck around when the household eventually lost the attending servants following the fall of the Kaedehara clan. It even stuck through the grim times of your parents’ passing.

Kazuha had went through so much at a young age, changed little by little—and you aren’t oblivious to it. With his growth, you are a witness to his budding shell of maturity.

Single years fold into a decade and all of a sudden, the mirthful silverette who doesn’t last a day without calling you ‘big sister’ has grown up.

Far too quickly, to be honest, but who are you to hold him back?

“You don’t call me ‘nee-san’ nowadays,” you laugh jokingly, “My, you’ve grown so much, Kazu!”

He stares at the plates of food you set on the dining table, his sigh small and feeble as you continue gushing. Albeit he has a smile on his face, it appears tight. Forced.

But you turn a blind eye to that—you’ve always been doing it.

Now, however, it seems that your brother has grown tired of humoring you. It has been going on for too long.

“I’m not some child anymore..” his monotonous voice is so unlike him—it’s as if he no longer is the person you grew up with.

Having him address it bluntly prompts you to pause, the only sound being the sizzling of unagi meat, frying to perfection. The richness of its color, however, dulls when you process what your sibling has mentioned.

As if its vividness is an illusion meant to shield you from present-day reality.

Still, you shake it away, keeping the smile on your face as you set the fried meat on a new plate, turning to put it down on the table beside the other dishes.

“Oh, Ka-“ you stop, seeing the look in his eyes.

The way his carmine optics bore against your [c]s is foreign.

It’s scary.

It’s different. It’s new.

You sit down in front of him, trying not to show how restless you’ve become. Such an attempt is futile, of course, since you’re in front of the person you’ve been with for years.

“Kazu-“

Thud!

Silence zips your lips when he lays his chopsticks down. It isn’t by any means a slam—but someone like Kazuha doesn’t need to be outright with anything in order to express a negative opinion.

“So please refrain from initiating unnecessary coddling,” he cuts you off with a swivel as he leaves for the door. “I have grown up now, sister. I... need you less.”

What?

A multitude of emotions hit you at once, all coming from his sudden statement that feels like it can tear you apart. But oh—who were you kidding?

You know that this will eventually come.

The very day where he admits that he is capable of being alone. Without you.

The opening of the door causes you to stand from your chair, “Wait!”

He does as you said but doesn’t look back. His hand remains on the handle of the knob, unchanging of his decision to leave.

You tug the black and red scarf from your neck, inching close to the man so you can wrap it around his neck. “It’s cold outside.. won’t you at least eat something?”

It takes him a moment to respond—but his decision does not change.

He detangles the fabric on his neck and, without looking you in the eye, sets it in your hand, rejecting your offer.

“Later.”

And he’s gone.

≿————- ❈ ————-≾

Nothing changed much after he left with that declaration.

Often times he still returns in the dead of night, a smile on his face. It will only ever droop when you come in the room greeting him a lovely evening, and he will sigh.

“I told you not to wait up for me.”

He will depart for his room before he can hear your explanation.

It leaves you hanging, hollow with bitter hope and refusal to believe that you both have reached that time in life where he doesn’t need you as much.

Each time he turns his back, you are filled to the brim with sorrow you didn’t know you’re capable of holding.

Retreating to the upper floor of your home, you will stay at the balcony sighing your concerns away to the stars. To the place where you believe your parents are staying, listening to your bouts of frustration and worry.

“Was I a good sibling for him, mother? Father?” you’ll sometimes mutter as you play with your silver locks, the only thing you share with your sibling other than the forgotten name of a once esteemed clan.

And as you vent all these to the stars, you remain oblivious to the lone figure hiding by the shadows in the adjacent room. His frown is tiny. Sad, but not guilty.

Kazuha will leave once again before he’ll hear his sister’s frustrated cries.

Sometimes, he will chew over it when he is wandering Inazuma—thinking, pondering if perhaps there could’ve been a way to say it without hurting his sibling. But as he contemplates over and over, he finds that there is no easy method to admitting the truth.

His friend Tomo, albeit not being told anything, is naturally cognizant of the things revolving around the silver-haired siblings. The older sister’s presence has been diminishing and he can count her appearances at Kazuha’s side getting less.

He has implied several times to make up with the female even if they had no outright argument, and when faced with a baffled question of ‘why’, Tomo only smiles.

“Because you’re family.”

So simple and yet—when Kazuha thinks of the matter a minute longer, the taste in his tongue becomes acrid.

“What upsets you?” his friend questions as he coos over his white feline, “You’re not the Kazuha who’s always crying for big sister, heh.”

The silverette cannot even find it within him to send a retort. His silence, to others, is a message that typifies a want to be alone—but to Tomo, who has known him since they’re both children, that silence is different.

With a hum, he stretches his limbs, yawning as his cat rolls around the grass.

“You know, [Name] won’t hate you for wanting it,” he starts, “You want to wander, don’t you? But you feel like you’re tied down. You’re grounded—because [Name] is here.”

Kazuha flinches and his friend snickers.

Spot on.

“I’m just going to repeat what I said because I meant it, Kazuha. Tell her the truth. She’s literally the most understanding person I know—it’s not like she’s going to despise you for wanting something.”

“… I’ll think about it.”

Tomo sighs. It’s not what I was hoping for but it’s a start.

Remembering something that moment, Tomo lets out a loud scream that nearly sent his friend toppling in the nearby stream of water. Kazuha looks on with slightly wide eyes as the other man jumps to his feet, violet eyes gleaming.

“Oh, right! I plan to initiate another challenge!”

Another challenge…

Kazuha closes his eyes with a hum, “I do hope you’ll last another. You’ve been faced with the worst of the worst.”

The chuckles that leave his friend’s lips are excited and sort of expectant.

“It’s going to be the ultimate one of all! So if you’ll excuse me~”

≿————- ❈ ————-≾

Perhaps a talk with your brother will do you both good.

You’ve both been acting like strangers walking on eggshells underneath the same house and it is driving you insane. He’s not even looking you in the eye anymore!

Given his quiet personality, confrontation will be difficult, but he’s a cooperative person. Besides, he always hears you out.

There isn’t any reason for him not to when he knows that this will be done only for the betterment of the future.

So, with a nervous disposition but eager heart to settle things right, you lift the basket from its place with plans to head over to the market. It’s an hour or two before dusk, just the perfect time to shop for dinner.

“Mm.. some dry-braised salted fish for tonight sounds lovely.” You muse, remembering how the dish is your brother’s favorite.

Ah, the number of tries he takes to perfect and stylish it into his own can’t be forgotten.

It doesn’t take too long to cook it, but you’ll be making tons of other side dishes and dessert, so it’s best to start early!

You exit the abode, the smile on your face present as ever even when you’re greeted outside by a couple of Shogunate Soldiers. Their features appear sterner, their hold on their naginata rock solid.

“Are you Kaedehara [Name]?”

Hm?

“Yes. Can I help you?”

The soldiers lunge forward, spears falling to a position pointing at you from all possible angles, cutting any means of escape as you furrow your brows. “What’s the meaning of this?”

“Your brother has defied the Decree of the Shogun and was hereby declared a criminal. Going against an Imperial Decree results in punishment inclusive to his immediate family.”

Your basket falls to the ground.

Thud!

Kazuha’s feet create a loud sound following his landing, a breath of panic expelling past as he rushes away.

The warmth in his hand escalates to a scalding degree, burning and searing like the fading power of Electro held within the golden casing.

To think that that was what Tomo meant.. !

He does not feel anger, no, just the burn of desperation and want to hide his friend’s Vision because he doesn’t want it to be taken away—to be placed in that statue that displays the lost ambitions of many others.

He’ll be damned before the Shogunate can take it… !

The criminal evades those at his tail, making swift maneuvers on rooftops and alleys without a second thought. His limbs are answering his every command, be it to duck, to jump—or to even draw his blade.

He is still ways away from the port but getting there won’t prove to be too complex for someone like him. He’s cut down plenty of the samurai in his escape from Tenshukaku,

Tomo…

“You’re family. Tell her.”

Family—

“This is the first one in a long time I’ve heard of it being extended-! To whom again? The clan that has lost its prestige a decade ago, right?” he almost trips in his sprinting, darting to an alleyway so he can further eavesdrop.

Did I hear that correctly?

A relieved sigh escapes when those chasing him run past his hiding spot.

Sucking in his breath, the silverette tightens his grip on the faded Vision of his best friend as he listens in the hushed conversation.

“Be quiet!” someone hisses, “If someone overhears us, what next? Still, I do feel bad.. they lost so much already. I can’t believe they’d drag an innocent person into it, too..”

“Well, there’s nothing we can do. The Shogun issued the penalty to immediate families, right? As far as I know, there are only two Kaedeharas left—”

Kazuha feels his heart stopping. Kaede..hara?

There’s no mistaking it.

But why—?

Why would a punishment meant for him extend to her?

She’s innocent!

Going off-course, he sprints in the direction of his house. The house that he lives in with his sister who takes great care of him—the same sister he’s willing to leave in favor of chasing what he wants in life.

He’s willing to, but he doesn’t.

Because perhaps—perhaps if he stayed and buried his desire, then he will amount to the same greatness she has done for him. But he cannot stand it, either. As patient as he is, as kind and ‘gentle’, [Name] can always see through his face.

He’s always been antsy—always itching to wander and he’s stumped that his sister is well-aware of that fact. Still, she’s always playing the ignorant one, pretending not to care- still coddling him as if he’s little and he’s had… enough of it.

But now that the situation has pinned this misfortune upon them, the ronin realizes that she’s only pretending for his sake, as well.

“Cut that out, I don’t need it. I fear that.. you will only embarrass yourself.”

Wasn’t it him who refused to tell her of his want to roam free in the first place?

“I understand that I am your brother—but there is no need to worry over me all the time. I can look after myself, [Name]. Do worry about something else, instead.”

Wasn’t it him who stuck around, still?

The bitterness in his tongue increases with each leap of his feet. He doesn’t even process the race of his heart as he’s carried through the same path that leads him home. To his family—to his only sister.

Everything seems to pass by slowly, in a blur, like the specks that decorate his vision the more his mind throws stacks and stacks of memories. This is madness.

Complete and utter madness.

He rounds the corner to see the figure of his only sibling, her back turned to him—she cannot see him, but he can see the armed soldiers flanking around her.

His throat tightens and certainly, he wouldn’t have been able to utter a word due to how it feels like his throat has been crushed.

“[Name]!”

Yet, the furious scream that tears past his lips denies all kinds of ‘impossibility’ the instant he sees the female falling to the ground, the sight of red splatter making him draw his blade.

Whoosh!

The summoned wind is opposingly gentle to the brewing storm in someone’s beautiful carmine eyes.

“[Name]-.. !”

That voice.. Kazuha?

Sometimes, the depth of emotion in Kazuha’s eyes is too deep for you to understand. Despite being so silent, he’s so, so expressive with his stares.

That even when he isn’t trembling when he lifts your torso, you know how much he’s quaking from within.

“What are you.. doing here? You have to go,” you cough red when he adjusts you in his arms, the sight of the fallen soldiers reminding you of the situation at hand. “Quick—before they.. catch you.”

He shakes his head,

“I’m taking you with me, I have a boat prepared, come, let’s—”

“Don’t lie to me, Kazuha.”

He pauses, flitting his gaze down to meet yours. You hate how you can’t seem to focus on him, though. Your sight is blurring in and out, only providing small intervals of clarity where you can see the panic in his features.

A sight you didn’t think you’d see on him until now.

“I know you made it for yourself. You’ve been planning to leave home, weren’t you? I’m not..” you’re not oblivious to his wish, “I’m not mad. I was only holding you back, wasn’t I?”

He sucks in a breath.

“I-I-“

What was he supposed to say?

Weakly tapping his arm, you start taking quick breaths—just to take in all the air you can while tolerating the gaping wound from being impaled.

It hurts. You want to scream. It hurts.

But you don’t—because you do not want to appear weak to your brother.

You promised mother and father that you will not cry when faced with problems—he mustn’t see, Kazuha mustn’t see. But at this moment, you just want to break apart. Disbelief is kicking in, you can’t believe this is happening.

When—where did everything go wrong?

“Besides, I’m not of use to you anymore. As if I’ll last the journey to Liyue-“

“Don’t say that!”

You blink owlishly, gasping out in pain when his hand presses against your wound, futilely attempting to hold back the bleeding.

“K-Kazuha?”

Your own hand shakily plants itself atop his own, helping him press—as if his hand isn’t heavy enough to stop the flow—it down. It will hurt, but you can’t say for sure. You’ve already grown numb and your head is swimming.

Still, you focus on him.

Still, you help him apply pressure even if you know—even if he knows—that it’s too late.

“Don’t say that. You’ve..” his voice cracks, “You’ve done so much, [Name], you-“

You took over the clan household when our parents died. You struggled to make ends meet for both of us. And yet.. all I do.. all I do is… !

Kazuha angrily bites on his lip, his hold on his composure beginning to slip as his mind throws in a reel of olden days.

“I’m leaving, [Name]. Please don’t wait up, I may take longer.”

“I’m grateful, but I don’t need that anymore.”

“Stop that, already.”

He dips his head with a muffled cry. All I do is wander and desire for a future where I can roam freely. I haven’t even thought of you..!

“You’ve grown, Kazuha,” he snaps back into this harsh reality when he feels the hand atop his disappear, presently moving to brush his messy locks.

He doesn’t know why all of a sudden his sight is becoming misty, but perhaps—perhaps it is because he remembers when his sister used to brush his hair the same way with a loving smile.

It is the same touch he flees from nowadays.

The same touch now—the same loving smile.

“As much as I hate to admit it, you’re right—you’ve grown so much.. and I’m still clinging onto the past.”

So lively, so beautiful and yet—

“You’re strong now..”

Yet it’s dying.

He presses harder on his sibling’s wound, almost sadistically—as if he’s hoping that it’ll ignite a painful reaction. “[Name], please, let me-“

Because if it hurt—then it means she’s still okay. She’s still responding.

“So capable.. so independent, you are.”

So why—? He almost chokes out a sob. Why are you not reacting to it!?

“Mother and father would be so proud of you. I am sorry if I was lacking in any way.”

“Please, [Name], you can’t do this.” He trembles, the composure he created so, so close to breaking as he gives up on endeavors that are pointless, to begin with. Instead, he tilts his head up, wishing to curse the heavens above.

For everything.

“I’m happy to be your sister, and.. I’m proud of you… Kazu..”

“Wait-“ he stumbles over his words, catching the falling hand of his sibling and registering how deathly pale she has gotten in a matter of seconds. “Wait, please—I-“

As much as he wants to voice out he’s sorry. For many things; for turning his back on her, for being distant when all they have is each other, he’s unable to find his voice when he sees the tears dripping out of his sister’s [c] eyes.

His strong older sister—weeping. It’s the first time he has seen her cry.

Her smile trembles—

“I love you. My nice.. little.. brother.”

—And her [c]s are then hidden forever.

The way she endearingly called him in her dying breath has him freezing, his heart pausing as if he had died along with her. But then the spark of pain welcomes him back to reality—to life.

And then he is leaning over her.

“[Name]..” breathless whispers escalate into panicked murmurs. “[Name]?”

His heart is pounding in his chest as he tries to shake her awake, like when he’d do when he’s eight and awake from an awful dream.

“Nee-san.. can I sleep by your side tonight?”

And although her [c] eyes are tired, she will still smile. “Okay.”

And she’d keep watch over him the whole night.

He’s reminded of it when he hopelessly shakes her awake, to no obvious avail. But he keeps grasping her arms, anyway, like he used to many years ago.

But things are different now.

“[Name]—[N-Name]!?”

He said it himself—he’s no longer a child.

“Please, don’t leave me- I- you’re all I have left!” The ronin’s composure finally breaks loose and his tears begin landing like a profuse waterfall. His uncontained sobs remain unheard.

This time, there is no one to wake him up from his nightmares.

“No—no, no- no, please..!” Kazuha weeps as he holds his sister’s cold hand, shakily pressing it to his forehead, imitating the sweet action she has always given him. A hand on his head, on his shoulder—or on his cheek if he’s tearful. “You can’t!”

She’ll tell him not to be sad because it’ll make her sad, too.

And he’ll hurriedly wipe his tears because ‘no! big sister mustn’t feel sad because of me!’.

Then [Name] will muster a smile as bright as the sun and hold his face in her warm hands, and press a kiss on his forehead. He’ll get red and thrash around, whining, ‘onee-san!’. And about how embarrassing it is so she mustn’t do it anymore.

Now, he is holding her hand in his own, trying to remember the same warmth it emitted just a day ago. Just a few hours ago. How long has it been?

And when he doesn’t feel the warmth—when he doesn’t remember the warmth, when all he feels is the cold and the obvious lack of love, Kazuha breaks apart.

His heart squeezes and his tears spill more, his lips parting to release the honorific he has dropped a long, long time ago. “Nee-san!”

“You don’t call me ‘nee-san’ nowadays,”

“Onee-san!”

“My, you’ve grown so much, Kazu!”

“Onee-san!”

I’m calling you. He cries, like a picture of misery. So why aren’t you waking up? Sister! He cries, like a heartbroken child.

The winds around him pick up, warning him of incoming men sent to apprehend and penalize him the same way they did to his sibling. It’s suffocating—maddening, even, and he wants to tear them all down himself.

But [Name] wouldn’t like that.

So, with a muted cry and bolster of willpower, he tears himself from the body of his kin, trembling.

He can hear the thundering steps of the samurai as he hurries to untangle the same black and red scarf [Name] has once attempted to give him. The same fabric he has rejected.

“I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry.” he hugs her with all his might, with his soul, and with his heart before he’s back up on his feet and running. I love you, too, nee-san.

“Get him!” someone roars from behind.

And although he wishes to turn and slice them away, he couldn’t—because he’d be seeing the fallen figure of the same person he had neglected to cherish. So, instead, he nestles the scarf around his neck whilst clutching onto the Vision of his friend.

Down the path, he runs.

Years ago, he will be accompanied by the people he loves, chasing a faraway future.

Now he is running on the same path alone, running after a dream that can now be turned into reality.

Far from Inazuma.

Far from home.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

a/n: did it hurt-

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　Return to the Scrying Glass　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

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