Hit Me Hard And Soft - Blog Posts

I love billie sm cause like

reblog if u think people should be jerking it man

"You were born reaching for your mother's hands, victim of your father's plans to rule the world, too afraid to step outside Paranoid and petrified of what you've heard."

- Billie Eilish (blue)

Screaming crying and throwing up because the first time I heard that part of the song I thought of azula ;(

every hit me hard and soft song can be assigned to twin peaks in some way, this has been plaguing me and im going to explode

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BILLIE BABY I LOVE YOU🎂

mannfnrnrnfbrjen billie eilish the woman that u r this album has me in fucking TEARS

Guys I'm about to pass tf out. I was at the mall and I was wearing this hmhas shirt and these two girls complimented me Istg i was in shock for the next 10 minutes

Just found out my mom would leave her husband for Billie Eilish

She is so real

Girlhood on a spectrum

༘⋆ new year's with billie

"three... two... one... happy new year!"

the jubilant blare of party horns fills the room, mingling with the cheers and laughter of your friends. you glance up at the sky, sparkling with bright stars, as vibrant fireworks burst across the night. their dazzling colors paint the sky as their loud pops echo all around you.

finneas, your girlfriend's brother, pulls claudia into a warm embrace, pressing a tender kiss to the top of her head.

you smile at the heartfelt moment, but your attention shifts as familiar arms wrap around you, drawing you into their comforting warmth. turning, you meet billie’s gaze, her eyes shimmering with affection and love.

your hands instinctively cup her face, your smile radiant as she gently squeezes your hips.

"i love you so much, pretty girl," she says, her voice soft and heartfelt. her gaze flickers to your lips before locking onto your eyes again, sincerity etched across her features. she tilts her head and leans in, her lips capturing yours in a kiss both tender and passionate, overflowing with love.

"i love you too, billie," you murmur, your cheeks beginning to ache from the uncontainable smile she brings to your face. "so, so much."

her voice drops to a gentle whisper, filled with devotion. "i can't wait to spend another year with you—and forever, baby."

"forever," you echo, your heart swelling as her words settle into your soul.

a/n: here's a little fluffy drabble cuz writer's block will not leave me be

✮ happy new year to everyone stepping into 2025! i wish you an incredible year filled with love, happiness, and joy. thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has supported me—it means the absolute world to share my writing with you and receive such positive feedback. i love you all <3

BILLIE BOSSA NOVA

REQUEST: hii i was wondering if u can do like a story with billie on how like billie and the reader are in the pool and start to make out (pls end in smut ☺️) also like dom billie and i love your stories SMM

a/n: love this request, and tysm ily!! also i changed the setting to a jacuzzi since that's steamier imo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pairings - flirtacious!billie x fem!reader

genre - smut

synopsis: a long-awaited romantic getaway to a hawaiian resort with your girlfriend leaves you craving her in more ways than one.

tw: softdom!billie, sub!reader, praise kink, billie's a bit of a tease, semi-public pool sex, light choking, reader & billie are in an established relationship

word count: 1.6K

a lot can change in twenty seconds a lot can happen in the dark

⟡

i'm not sentimental but there's somethin' 'bout the way you look tonight

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Vacations have never really been your thing, as the timing never seems convenient enough for you to be free. But when you and your girlfriend finally manage to carve out time for a well-deserved break from work, you waste no time whisking her away to a luxurious resort in Hawaii.

"Look, Bils, there are so many activities here!" you gush, waving a colorful pamphlet excitedly in Billie’s face.

She chuckles, gently swatting your hand away before resting hers back on the steering wheel. "Tell me all about them, babe. Jus' let me keep my eyes on the road so we actually make it there in one piece, okay?"

"I wanna go swimming first, and then we can—" You abruptly cut yourself off, gasping as your eyes catch something on the pamphlet. "Oh my God, no, we’re going horseback riding first!"

Billie laughs, her voice light and melodic as she takes in your excitement. She spares you a brief glance, her eyes brimming with affection, before turning her attention back to the road. Her hand finds its way to your thigh, a gentle squeeze accompanying the smile playing on her lips. “Almost there.”

When you arrive, Billie pulls into valet parking, smoothly handing over her keys before wrapping an arm around your waist. With the other, she effortlessly wheels your shared suitcase, her presence reassuring as you both check in at the resort.

Key in hand, the two of you make your way to your room. Once inside, you immediately flop onto the bed, letting out a contented sigh as the crisp, cool sheets embrace your body. The scent of vanilla and coconut wafts through the air, calming and intoxicating all at once.

Billie leans down, her lips meeting yours in a tender kiss that makes your heart flutter. She then takes your hands, gently pulling you up to sit. "Come on, pretty girl," she says with a soft smile, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "The horses are waiting."

In hues of amber and crimson, the day takes its final bow, painting the sky in the tender colors of twilight. A soft breeze brushes over your exposed shoulders, a soothing contrast to the lukewarm embrace of the jacuzzi water rippling around your figure.

The quiet patter of footsteps reaches your ears, followed by a gentle splash as someone joins you. You glance to the side and spot Billie, clad in a pink bikini, her calm smile radiating under the soft glow of the yellow string lights that frame the area. Your gaze instinctively trails over her figure, your throat tightening as the light dances across her skin, accentuating her beauty.

She slides into the water beside you, her entrance sending a cascade of bubbles around her. She lets out a blissful sigh, leaning back against the edge. Her eyes flutter shut, giving in to the soothing warmth of the water enveloping her.

Her arms coil around your waist, pulling you flush against her. You wrap your arms around her shoulders with a playful grin, leaning in to press your lips to hers in a kiss that quickly turns passionate. Her hands trail down to your thighs, lifting you effortlessly as your legs instinctively wrap around her waist.

“I’ve missed you,” she whispers, her breath warm against your lips. “It’s been way too long since I’ve had you all to myself.”

You chuckle softly, tilting your head and flipping your hair aside to take in the intense longing in her ocean-blue eyes. Before you can respond, Billie claims your lips again, this time with a raw urgency. Her hands slide to your ass, cupping and squeezing with a teasing firmness that draws a soft gasp from you.

“Missed this ass,” she murmurs, her lips now trailing down your neck. Her kisses deepen into marks of purple, each one a possessive reminder of her touch. A quiet moan slips from your lips as her damp hand slides up to your neck, gripping gently and pulling you closer. Your head tilts back, granting her full access, surrendering completely to the moment.

“Missed your obedience, baby,” she whispers, her lips brushing against the delicate skin above your bikini top. Her words send a shiver down your spine as her mouth grazes the curve of your breasts. “You’re always such a good girl for me.”

Heat pools between your legs at the sultry tone of her words, and your desperation grows as you subtly begin to grind against her, hoping she won’t notice. But Billie, ever attentive, quickly catches on, her firm grip halting your movements with ease.

“What do you need, pretty girl?” she rasps, her voice teasingly low, a smirk tugging at her lips. “Use your words.”

“Please, Bils,” you manage, your voice a trembling whisper as you squirm in her grasp. “Touch me.”

“You need my fingers?” she asks, her teasing tone making your breath hitch. You nod quickly, your desperation clear. Her hands move with deliberate slowness to your string bikini, untying the knots and draping the fabric over the rim of the jacuzzi. “How bad do you need ’em?”

“So bad… Need you, Billie." Your words slip out in an unintentional whimper as you pull your bottom lip between your teeth. Her calloused fingers find your clit, rubbing slow, taunting circles that draw a sigh of relief from you. The sensation is momentary, though, as she pulls back, leaving you aching for more.

Before you can protest, her plump lips capture yours in a heated kiss, her tongue exploring yours as her fingers slip inside you. The stretch is perfect, filling you as her kiss muffles the moans spilling from your lips. Every movement of her fingers sends waves of pleasure coursing through you, her dominance grounding you completely in the moment.

Ever so slightly, Billie curls her fingers, reaching deeper spots that send jolts of pleasure rippling through you. Louder moans spill from your lips as your grip on her shoulders tightens, your head falling back in surrender to the intense sensations.

She bites her lip, barely suppressing the satisfied smirk threatening to spread as she watches your face contort with unrestrained bliss.

“You like that, baby?” she purrs, her voice dripping with pride—both in herself for knowing exactly how to unravel you and in you for being so perfectly compliant, following her every command. “Want me to go faster?”

“Y-Yes, faster,” you stammer, your voice trembling as your eyes roll back, overwhelmed by the ecstasy coursing through you. Billie doesn’t hesitate, quickening the rhythm of her fingers, each thrust building a delicious pressure deep within you.

With practiced ease, she unties the knot of your bikini top, letting it fall away before her mouth claims your nipple. Her tongue flicks and swirls over the sensitive bud, her lips suckling just enough to make your back arch instinctively. Every motion of her hands and mouth leaves you inching closer to the edge, completely at her mercy.

"Look at you—such a pretty girl, begging to feel my fingers inside you," Billie murmurs, her voice muffled as her lips remain latched around your nipple.

You clench around her fingers, your body responding instinctively to the relentless pace of her thrusts. The sensation builds to an almost unbearable peak, drawing out louder moans. “Close…” you manage to gasp, your voice trembling. Billie takes your breathless admission as her cue, quickening her pace and adding a third finger, the stretch sending a fresh wave of heat pooling in your core.

“Oh my—fuck,” you groan, your breath coming in sharp, uneven gasps as her fingers reach deeper, hitting spots that make your body shudder. “I’m so close.”

“Yeah, baby?” Billie’s voice drips with praise, a mix of pride and adoration as her fingers work you over without mercy. “You want to come?”

“Billie, please,” you whimper, your voice thick with desperation. The sound of her name spilling from your lips like a prayer makes her groan, a low, primal sound that only adds to the intensity of the moment.

With her free hand, she grips the back of your neck, pulling you into a searing kiss. Her tongue delves into your mouth, her movements commanding and possessive. The overwhelming sensation of her lips, her fingers, and her presence pushes you over the edge, and you unravel around her with a loud, pleasured moan, your body trembling as waves of relief crash through you.

Your chest rises and falls with heavy pants as your body finally gives in, trembling from the intensity. Billie’s arms wrap around you instantly, steadying and holding you close. Her warmth and strength are a comforting anchor as you melt against her.

She grins softly, reaching up to press a gentle kiss to your lips. “You did amazing, baby,” she murmurs, her voice tender and full of affection. Her fingers trail over your skin, rubbing soothing circles around the marks she left, a quiet gesture of care. With skilled ease, she ties your bikini top back in place, shielding your sensitive skin from the cool air.

Once you’re steady, the two of you make your way back to your room, the short walk punctuated by the easy intimacy you share. Billie can’t resist teasing you, her tone light. “So, you still up for that tango class?” she asks, a playful smirk tugging at her lips, reminding you of how excited you’d been earlier.

“Fuck no,” you reply with a chuckle, your voice warm despite your exhaustion. Dropping your head against her shoulder, you nuzzle into the crook of her neck, letting her warmth envelop you. “Sleep’s calling my name.”

BODY DYSMORPHIA

REQUEST: billie being rrly worried about r eating problems?

a/n: before we get into the fic, i just want to remind everyone that your struggles are valid. i understand where you're coming from and i promise you, you're perfect just as you are, inside and out. you don't need to be slim to be beautiful. that's just society's and men's messed up standards. this is just one of many serious & important topics and i want you to know that my messages are always open if you need to vent, talk, or simply have someone listen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pairings - concernedgf!billie x insecure!reader

genre - angst, fluff, suggestive

synopsis: struggling with body image and online criticism, you find comfort as billie lovingly supports you and helps you confront your insecurities with understanding and care.

tw: heavy mentions of body dysmorphia & an eating disorder.

word count: 1.1K

you don't have to change you're perfect the way you are

⟡

she's a pretty girl without the filter she looks beautiful with no makeup on

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

"How about In-N-Out?"

Wide grins spread across everyone's faces as they nod in agreement, then turn to you, waiting for your response. Your gaze shifts to Finneas in the driver’s seat, then to Claudia in the passenger seat, before skimming over Alex and Zoe on your right, and finally landing on Billie—your girlfriend—seated to your left.

"Oh, uh, I'll actually just skip. I already ate, so I'm full," you say with a casual shrug.

"You sure you don't want something for later?" Billie asks, a soft chuckle escaping her lips as she lightly squeezes your knee. "I know you. You always say you're not hungry, then an hour later, you're begging me to get you something to eat."

You force a smile, shaking your head. "I'm sure."

During the drive to the fast-food joint, you pull out your phone, your lips pressing into a tight frown as you scroll through the comments left by Billie’s fans on her most recent post—some cruel and cutting, others trying to defend you.

quenxbillie4life: what an ugly fatass bitch prob js a gold digger ↳ ronniel0vesbils: do u even KNOW billie? she's struggled sm with body image. have u heard not my responsibility? u have no right to say that abt her gf.

billieeilishnoticeme69: BIG BACK BIG BACK BIG BACK

billybiggestfan: elephants don't deserve to date global stars like billy ↳ ronniel0vesbils: lmao didn't even spell her name right u fake fan😭

billiespitonme: @ronniel0vesbils is legit fighting for her life out here LMFAO

The harsh words sting, and though the supportive replies are there, they feel drowned out by the negativity. You glance out the car window, trying to shake the ache in your chest, but the comments linger like a shadow.

You try to conceal your exhaustion, but it’s hard to ignore the countless nights spent sobbing, curled up with your knees to your chest, rocking back and forth as you desperately pray to wake up with a model’s body the next day.

But it never happens. And each passing day only deepens the growing hatred you feel toward yourself.

Why would Billie ever choose someone like you?

She’s one of the most ethereal-looking women on the planet, effortlessly breathtaking in a way that leaves you in awe. She never seems to have a bad moment, always stunning. Yet somehow, out of everyone, she chose you.

You sit silently, watching everyone enjoy their burgers and sip on their drinks, all the while wishing the ground would open up and swallow you whole. Deep down, you’ve convinced yourself that you’re not even worthy of a good meal—that starving yourself is just the price you have to pay to lose weight.

Your eyes drop to your hands resting in your lap, fingers fidgeting with your nails as a quiet sigh escapes. Slumping further into the seat, you tune out the lively conversations and laughter of your friends, letting the background noise blur into nothingness.

"You okay, baby?"

The gentle voice snaps you out of your thoughts. You hear the jingle of keys being tossed onto the coffee table, followed by soft footsteps padding across the wooden floor. Billie appears in the doorway, leaning against the frame with concern etched across her face. "You were acting a little weird today."

You glance away, offering only a small nod in response, but Billie isn’t convinced. She crosses the room and sits beside you, the mattress dipping under her weight as she exhales softly. Her ring-clad hand comes to rest lightly on your knee.

"You sure?" she presses, her voice tender. "You usually never say no to burgers."

A bitter chuckle slips out before you can stop it, the comment twisting into an unintentional jab at yourself. Are you really such a glutton that even Billie notices the sudden change? The thought stings.

"Yeah," you mutter, your tone tinged with self-deprecation. "That just might be the issue." You roll your eyes at your typical eating habits, the words dripping with sarcasm and frustration.

Billie’s brows knit together, a faint crease forming on her forehead as she shifts closer, tilting her head thoughtfully. “Ah,” she murmurs, her lips pressing into a thin line. “I get it, love. I know how you feel—I’ve been through it.”

Her hand moves up to your arm, fingers tracing gentle, soothing patterns across your skin. “I want you to know I’m here for you. Always. You’re not alone in this, and you never will be.” Her voice is soft but firm, her words wrapping around you like a warm embrace.

“Anything you ever want to tell me, I’m listening. And,” she adds, a small, playful smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, “you can’t be stressing your pretty little head about all this without me being involved, got it?”

Your lips curl into a soft smile, but the harsh, critical thoughts about your appearance still linger, refusing to be silenced.

Billie notices the unease in your expression. Her hand gives your arm a gentle squeeze before she guides you down onto the bed, your back pressing against the sheets and your head cradled by a pillow.

For a moment, your mind races. Really? Sex? Does she think a distraction like this will actually help right now?

Still, you push the thought aside, watching as Billie moves with quiet determination. Her fingers deftly unbutton your jeans, sliding them down your legs and tossing them onto the floor. She shifts her focus to your torso, carefully slipping your shirt over your head, leaving you in just your bra and underwear.

Instinctively, your hands fly to your stomach, trying to cover yourself. Even though Billie has seen you naked countless times, the habit of hiding feels ingrained—an automatic response to the insecurities clawing at you.

Billie is quick to pin your hands gently to your sides, her soft yet firm grip keeping them in place. Her lips brush against your jaw, leaving a trail of warmth as she moves down to your neck, collarbone, and then licks a slow, deliberate stripe down the valley of your breasts.

"Pretty fucking girl," she murmurs, her voice low and filled with adoration. A quiet groan escapes her lips as she shifts lower, her hands gliding across your skin, mapping every inch and curve with reverent care.

"I love you," she says, her words muffled as she presses her lips tenderly against your belly button. "So fucking much, angel. You’re perfect."

Her hands drift to your thighs, squeezing them gently before she peppers a trail of featherlight kisses along their length. “I love every curve, every inch of this gorgeous body,” she whispers, her tone steady and unwavering, as if daring your insecurities to challenge her conviction.

"And that's never, ever going to change."

THE HILLS

REQUEST: billie filthy smut pleaseeee

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pairings - fwb!billie x fem!reader

genre - smut

synopsis: as the rules of your casual friends-with-benefits arrangement with billie blur, one night in a hotel room becomes a turning point neither of you expected.

tw: domtop!billie, subbottom!reader, praise kink, strap (r!receiving), light choking, hair pulling, situationship/fwb.

word count: 1.2K

found out i was comin', sent your friends home keep on tryna hide it, but your friends know

⟡

i only call you when it's half-past five the only time i'd ever call you mine

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

You're not entirely sure how it led to this moment—your back arched, face buried in the pillows to muffle your cries of pleasure, eyes rolling back as waves of euphoria overtake you.

Her hips ram into yours with rapid, intoxicating thrusts, her hands exploring your body—one gripping your hip firmly while the other threads through your hair, tugging your head back and forcing your spine to arch even deeper.

"Fuck, you feel so good."

You're not even sure you heard her right—your ears have been ringing for the past ten minutes. Nevertheless, you don’t really care what she said, as long as she keeps doing what she’s doing. Your body moves on its own, writhing in ecstasy, while your mind drifts helplessly in a sea of pleasure.

Your skin glistens with sweat, a testament to how long the two of you have been at this. The last thing you remember is calling her from the analog phone on the nightstand, telling her to meet you at the hotel where you’re staying.

This has become a bit of a routine for you both—whenever one of you feels needy, you call the other for a discreet hookup. It’s nothing official, so you’re forced to sneak around, careful not to get caught by her fans.

Her navy strap is one you've grown unbelievably accustomed to, just like the feeling of her calloused hands roaming your body, never neglecting a single inch.

"Billie, fuck!" you gasp, her groan vibrating in your ear as her body presses tightly against yours, her thrusts growing sloppier. Her breasts press firmly against your back, drawing a guttural moan from deep within you. "I'm close, so close—" Your bottom lip is caught between your teeth as your hand flies up to grip the headboard, desperate for something to ground you. "Please."

Billie curses under her shaky breath, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you even closer, her hips driving into you with relentless force. Her pace quickens, her face contorting in pleasure as the strap hits her just right.

"Please what?" she grunts, her free hand cupping your left breast, squeezing just enough to elicit a whimper before sliding up to wrap around your neck. The cold silver of her rings contrasts starkly with your hot, sweaty skin.

You almost want to beg her to slow down—your pussy throbbing from the punishing rhythm—but you're too consumed by the moment, lost in the delirium of her fake cock filling you so perfectly.

"P-Please, faster," you manage to whimper, your lips parting as tears well in your eyes. You bite down on your wrist, trying to stifle the desperate sounds spilling from your mouth, but she quickly moves your hand away. She wants to hear—no, revel in—the pretty noises you make for her.

A breathy moan escapes her lips as she inches closer to her own release, her hands gripping your hips tightly to steady herself while her pace grows more frantic. "Such a good fucking girl," she breathes, her sultry tone alone enough to send you spiraling. "You take me so well."

You’re not sure how the two of you haven’t received a noise complaint yet, given how long this has been going on—though what feels like hours is probably closer to forty-five minutes.

Billie’s hand trails down your body, her skilled fingers finding your sensitive clit and stroking it with practiced precision, drawing out another throaty moan from your parted lips. Before the sound can fully escape, her free hand clamps over your mouth, only to slip her thumb past your lips. Instinctively, you wrap your lips around it, your tongue grazing the pad of her thumb as she watches with a smirk.

Instinctively, you push your hips back, grinding against the silicone cock in a silent plea for more—for her to fill you so completely that it drives you to scream her name until it echoes through the room.

Sensing your impending release, Billie suddenly pulls out, flipping you onto your back with practiced ease. She pushes your legs up, your knees pressed against your chest, before slamming into you again without hesitation. The new angle sends shockwaves through your body, arching your back and pulling even louder cries from your lips.

Her thumb finds your clit again, rubbing in fast, deliberate circles as she watches you squirm beneath her. She mentally savors the sight, basking in the knowledge that only she can undo you like this.

Part of your arrangement had been to avoid talking about any other hookups during your downtime, but truthfully, Billie hasn’t been with anyone else since this began. No one gives her the same electric rush that you do. And though she’d never say it out loud, she’s certain no one else can make you feel the way she does—and maybe, just maybe, she’s a little proud of that.

Your hands slide up her damp chest, squeezing her breasts before trailing behind her neck to pull her closer. She doesn’t know exactly what compels her to brush her lips over yours—a kiss that’s both needy and tender. It catches you off guard; you’ve never kissed her before. Ironic, considering all the other obscene things you’ve done together, but kissing always felt like crossing a line into something more intimate.

But right now, you couldn’t care less.

Your fingers thread through her hair, brushing it out of her face as your lips move in perfect sync. The kiss is charged, igniting a spark that sends a shiver down your spine. Not only is she amazing at fucking you, but, God, she’s an incredible kisser too.

A familiar knot tightens in your stomach, making you grind down against her desperately. A moan escapes her lips, and that’s your breaking point. Your back arches off the bed as your orgasm crashes over you in waves, leaving you gasping for air.

Billie watches you unravel beneath her, and the sight alone sends her over the edge. A loud groan rips from her throat, her usual care for discretion abandoned as the walls of the hotel room bear witness. Slowly, she pulls out, leaving you with an aching emptiness that only intensifies your sensitivity. She collapses beside you, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she struggles to catch her breath.

"Fuck, that was..."

“Intense?” you finish for her, a breathless chuckle escaping as you sit up, wincing at the soreness in your legs.

“Something like that.” She climbs off the bed, removing the strap before making her way to the bathroom. Pausing at the door, she glances back at you, her pink lips pursed slightly. “You wanna rinse off?”

“Together?” you ask, eyebrows knitting in confusion. She responds with a shrug and a simple nod before disappearing into the bathroom. Curiosity and the promise of warm water drive you to follow her.

Aftercare from Billie isn’t something you ever expected. It was never part of the unspoken rules of your agreement, a dynamic that thrived on boundaries and the title of “friends with benefits.”

But something feels different—like a rope has snapped inside her, loosening the rules she’d held so firmly. Because right now, in this fleeting moment, you’re not just a casual fling.

You’re hers.

FADE INTO YOU

REQUEST: loved ur billie fic sm!!!🥹 can you do billie x f!reader where r has been acting distant lately ofc shes tryna hide that but billie being the attentive girlfriend she is notices and asks r about it then r talks about wanting to break up but billie can read her emotions through her eyes so well so they talk ab it and turns out r has been feeling insecure cus billies very up there and shes just her THIS IS SO LONG M SORRY i js love u and hope to see more from u😣 thank u sm!!!🫰🏻

a/n: i adore this request tysm ily! and u can make it as long as u want (that's what she said) hope this is how u wanted it to go<3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pairings - attentivegf!billie x insecure!reader

genre - angst, fluff

synopsis: when doubts about your worth drive a wedge between you and billie, an emotional confrontation reveals just how deep her love for you runs.

tw: self-doubt, emotional distress—nothing too serious

word count: 1.1K

i look to you and i see nothing i look to you to see the truth

⟡

a stranger light comes on slowly a stranger's heart without a home

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

"And that's a wrap!"

Applause fills the room as the interviewer stands and pulls Billie in for a brief hug. "You were amazing. It was an honor having you here," she says warmly. Billie smiles back, her signature charm on full display. "The episode will be in editing for a few days, but we'll let you know once it's ready to publish."

The brunette nods, her ocean-blue eyes catching the iridescent glow of the overhead lamp. As she exchanges goodbyes, her gaze sweeps the room, searching—only to find no sign of you.

"Hey," she calls out, tapping Finneas on the shoulder. He turns to face her, eyebrows raised. "Did she leave?"

"Yeah, about twenty minutes ago," he says with a shrug, crossing his arms. "You guys okay? I don’t usually like to get involved, but... she’s been acting different. Not just with you—just, in general."

"No, yeah, we're fine. She probably just wasn't feeling well," Billie says as she fiddles with her silver rings, though the crease in her brow betrays the indifference she tries to project. Truthfully, she has no idea why you've been acting so distant—distant enough for Finneas and even a few of your mutual friends to notice and question her about it.

After bidding her farewells, Billie heads straight for her car, a clear mission in mind as she drives to your place. She rings the doorbell, anxiously tapping her foot against the wooden floorboards of your porch.

The door opens after a few beats, revealing you—your face etched with a melancholic expression. Her brows knit together instantly, worry clouding her eyes as her hands move to cup your cheeks. Her thumbs brush over the faint streaks of dried tears.

“What happened, pretty girl?” she asks softly, concern woven into every word. “You left so suddenly, but you seemed just fine this morning. Are you feeling sick? I can grab you some soup from that place you love.”

You shake your head, stepping back from her touch before turning away and sinking onto the gray couch. Your lips are downturned, shoulders slumped, as Billie silently follows, her worried gaze never leaving you.

"I don’t know why everyone’s so worried. I’m fine," you snap, your voice sharper than intended. You meet her concerned eyes with a glare, though it falters. "You didn’t need to come over. Don’t you have some afterparty to go to with your famous friends?"

Billie’s brows knit together in confusion as she lowers herself onto the coffee table across from you, legs spread and elbows propped on her knees. She leans forward, searching your face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, I just…” Your voice falters, trailing off as you avert your gaze to the side, nervously chewing your bottom lip.

“Hey,” she says softly, her tone steady but full of concern. “What’s wrong?”

Her gentleness feels like a knife twisting in your chest. Guilt gnaws at you with every word, every worried glance. No matter how cold you try to be, she’s still her—loving, understanding, unwavering.

“I wanna… break up.” The words leave your lips in a whisper, barely audible, but they hit like a crack of thunder. Your tear-filled eyes flicker to hers, wide and stricken with disbelief.

“Wait—what? What?” Billie stammers, her voice cracking with shock as she processes your words. “You… you wanna break up?”

“I wanna break up,” you repeat, though it comes out shakier this time, as though the words might crumble under their weight.

“Why?” she asks softly, her voice trembling. Her hands reach out instinctively, intertwining with yours, her thumbs brushing across your knuckles in a gentle, grounding motion. “Why? I don’t… I don’t understand.”

Billie studies you intently, her gaze searching for answers you don’t know how to give. She catches the guilt etched in your features, and a quiet sigh escapes her lips as she tightens her grip on your hands—reassuring, alleviating.

“Talk to me, Y/N,” she pleads, her voice steady despite the tension in her posture. “We need to talk about this. About you. I’ve been so worried lately, and now… this? Why do you want to break up? I thought we were happy.”

“I was—am happy, I just…” You exhale shakily, lowering your gaze to your lap, where your hands remain entwined with hers. “Why me?”

“What?” Billie’s brows knit together, and she shifts closer, tilting her head slightly.

“I just— There’s nothing special about me, y’know? I’m just me, and you’re Billie Eilish. I don’t get why you’d wanna be with someone like me.”

“Fuck,” she mutters under her breath, a soft chuckle escaping as she pulls you closer, shifting you onto her thigh. Your heart flutters involuntarily, but the warmth is immediately overshadowed by the painful squeeze in your chest when you look down into her comforting, knowing gaze. “Is that why you’ve been acting so different, baby?”

You don’t respond, but you don’t have to. She sighs, her arms wrapping securely around your waist, holding you as if to anchor you in place.

“You might not be famous in the world’s eyes,” she murmurs, her voice tender yet resolute, “but you’re everything in mine. And yeah, you’re you, but that’s exactly who I fell in love with. Not some snobby celebrity, or anyone else. You. Just you. And you’re fucking perfect, love. Don’t you see that?”

"What if you find someone better, or... I don't know, things go south? It's happened before with other couples, and—"

"It won’t happen with us," Billie cuts in gently, her voice soft yet stable. "I’ll never find someone better because that doesn’t exist."

She leans in, pressing a series of featherlight kisses along your jaw, trailing down to your neck. Her warm breath brushes your skin as she exhales softly, her hair tickling you like a second touch.

"I love you," she whispers, her words grounding you as she presses another lingering kiss against your neck. "And nothing—nothing—is ever going to change that, got it?"

With a playful grin, you thread your fingers through her hair, giving it a gentle tug to tilt her head up so she meets your gaze. "Prove it."

Billie lets out a soft laugh, shaking her head as her hands tighten around your waist. "You’re insatiable," she teases, before leaning in to capture your lips in a tender kiss. Slowly, she guides you onto your back on the couch, her body hovering over yours as she trails down to your neck, leaving a path of delicate, lingering kisses that promise to leave their mark.

She pulls back just enough to kiss you again, her lips hovering over yours before she smiles softly. "I love you," she repeats, her gaze locking with yours, full of warmth and certainty.

YOU'RE LOSING ME

pairings - overwhelmed!billie x caring!reader

genre - angst, fluff near the end

synopsis: billie returns from a week-long trip to korea, leading to an intense argument that threatens your relationship.

tw: slight emotional abuse, relationship conflict, reader and billie are in an established relationship, billie calls reader clingy

word count: 2.7K

and the air is thick with loss and indecision i know my pain is such an imposition

⟡

i gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy and all i did was bleed as i tried to be the bravest soldier

✩₊˚.⋆🕸️⋆⁺₊✧

As the first rays of sunlight stream through the curtains, you slowly open your eyes, your vision blurry for a few seconds as you gaze out the window. Extending your arm, you touch the empty spot on the sheets beside you—cold and untouched.

Your girlfriend Billie has been in Korea for what feels like forever, though it’s only been a week. Her long-awaited album just dropped, and she’s been consumed with interviews and appearances. She hasn’t been responding to your texts much, leaving you feeling lonely. Still, you remind yourself how hard she’s working and try not to let it bother you too much.

Pulling yourself out of bed, you shuffle to the bathroom, turning on the tap to run a warm bath. Back in your room, you grab the hoodie Billie gave you before she left. Her signature scent still lingers, drawing a small, bittersweet smile to your face as your chest tightens with longing. You slip it on over matching sweatpants, preparing for a strawberry-scented bath to shake off the ache of missing her.

Today’s the day Billie finally comes home. The thought brings a flicker of excitement, breaking through the gloom of the past week. You've been counting down the hours, longing for the moment you'd see her walk through the door, ready to wrap her in your arms. You’d planned everything—dinner, her favorite movie, and the kind of quiet, comforting night you know she loves.

You’ve spent the whole morning searching Instagram for recipes, carefully selecting her favorites. After your bath, you tie your hair up into a ponytail and get to work, letting the rhythmic hum of a Clairo playlist fill the air.

Two hours pass, and you’ve prepared mashed potatoes, a fresh salad, and a pot of pasta with vegan meatballs. The table is set, the living room prepared, and her favorite movie is paused on the TV.

At about 6 PM, the sound of keys jangling at the door makes your heart leap as you set two plates on the coffee table. You rush to greet her, a bright smile on your face as the door swings open. There she is—Billie, standing with her luggage in hand, looking as stunning as ever.

“Hey,” she says, her voice soft but distant, her expression tired.

“Hi, baby,” you reply warmly. “I missed you.”

“Me too,” she says, forcing a small smile. But there’s no hug, no kiss, no affectionate greeting. Your stomach knots at the coldness in her demeanor.

“How was your trip?”

“Busy. Lots of interviews.” Her tone is flat, almost disinterested as she runs a hand through her black hair.

“I made you dinner,” you say, stepping aside to reveal the table you’d prepared. The sight of her favorite dishes and the movie queued up for the night should’ve brought a smile to her face, but instead, she sighs, rubbing her forehead.

“That’s great, baby, but I think I’ll pass.”

Your smile falters, but you quickly push aside the sting, which is instantly overpowered by your care. Checking on her is one of your priorities, and you know her well. You two have been together for a year and a half, so by now, you can immediately tell when something's wrong. “Are you okay? You seem... off.”

“I’m just tired,” Billie mutters, avoiding your gaze.

“Well, we can relax on the couch, eat something, watch the movie—”

“I wanna be alone, Y/N,” she interrupts sharply. Her tone cuts through you, the weight of her words hitting harder than you expect. “You’re going to want to cuddle and... I’m just not in the mood.”

“Oh.” The hurt threatens to spill over, but you swallow it down. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t do that,” she snaps, crossing her arms as her piercing gaze meets your confused expression. “Don’t guilt-trip me like this.”

“I’m not trying to guilt-trip you,” you reply softly. “I just—”

“Just drop it, okay?” she says firmly.

You hesitate, but something inside you refuses to let it go. “Okay, no. You don’t get to treat me like this after I’ve spent all day trying to make things nice for you. I know you’re tired, but that doesn’t mean you can push me away.”

“I didn’t ask you to do any of this,” Billie says, gesturing dismissively at the table. “You’re the one who went overboard.”

“Because I care about you,” you argue, stepping closer. “Because I wanted to make you feel better after a long week. All I wanted was to spend some time together, but apparently, that’s too much to ask.”

Billie’s eyes narrow. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“Am I?” You throw your hands up in frustration. “You’ve barely answered my texts, you’ve been distant all week, and now you’re acting like I’m the problem for wanting to spend time with my girlfriend.”

You almost can't recognize the person in front of you. Is this why she'd been so cold lately? Usually, after long trips like this, she'd get extremely clingy, refusing to leave your side while repeatedly claiming how much she'd missed you and peppering your face with a billion kisses.

"I've been busy, Y/N. You can't expect me to be on my phone 24/7," she argues, a frustrated groan slipping out. "What, are you gonna strangle me for doing my job?"

"Billie," you resolutely call out as you cross your arms defensively. "When have I ever not been understanding to your circumstances? I know how hard you work, and I know your job means you gotta travel around the world. And I've always been okay with that."

She lets out a dry laugh, her tone dripping with exasperation. "So, why are you acting so goddamn needy right now?"

The word hits like a slap. She knows how much that word cuts you, how deeply it taps into your insecurities.

"Why are you being so unbearable right now?" you retort, matching the volume of her tone. Not yelling, but not calm either.

"Just stop it. You're making a big deal out of nothing—"

"No, I'm not. Stop trying to make me sound crazy."

You make your way to the kitchen and grab a glass cup from the dish rack, filling it up with cold water before taking a sip. Your throat had begun to to run dry since you haven't eaten or had anything to drink all day. "You could've been nicer about it. Why are you acting surprised and attacking me for wanting to spend time with you after a week apart?"

billie follows you and leans against the counter, feigning indifference as you stare at her from the other side of the kitchen, your eyes scorching with fury. "A week's not that long."

You scoff after setting the cup on the counter in front of you. "Yeah, says you who literally couldn't wait for me to come home after I slept over at my sister's house for two days."

"That's different." She rolls her eyes and prods her tongue against the inside of her cheek. The audacity leaves you speechless for a second before you regain your composure.

"What changed?" You shake your head in disbelief as you replay the memories of the sweet nothings she would whisper in your ear after being gone for so long. Whether she'd be gone on tour for a month, or if she'd just go visit her parents and Finneas for the weekend, she'd always return to you. "Why are you acting so weird?"

Billie lets out a pained sigh as she shuts her eyes tightly, hoping this moment would just disappear. This is the first time you've seen her show a single emotion other than apathy the whole time she's been back. "I think..." she trails off, not knowing how to correctly word the sentence on the tip of her tongue.

"You think what?" you ask, growing a little impatient as you watch her part her lips again.

"I can’t do this anymore,” she says, the words spilling out like venom. “I think we need a break.”

Your eyes widen and your jaw goes slack. "What the fuck?"

Rounding the corner of the counter, you gently reach out to hold her hands, but she withdraws herself and steps further away. The room seems to tilt as her words sink in. "Where the hell is this coming from?"

“I just... I can’t be in a relationship right now. It’s too much.”

Your voice breaks as tears blur your vision. “Billie, please. We can figure this out—”

“It’s not up to you,” she says, her tone colder than you’ve ever heard it.

“Don’t do this,” you plead. Never in a million years did you picture tonight ending this way, with you practically begging her to take you back.

She steps back, shaking her head, her emotionless blue orbs meet yours, damp and red. “I need space.”

"If you just listened when I told you to leave me alone earlier, this wouldn't be happening right now." Billie's voice rises, although she's never yelled at you before. Every time you two would argue, she'd still try her best to steer clear of doing or saying anything she might regret afterwards.

"Don't you fucking blame me," you yell back, your knuckles turning white as you tighten your grip on the edge of the counter. "I just wanted to spend the night with my girlfriend after being away from each other for so long. You're the one who—"

She lets out another humorless chuckle as she steps forward, leaning closer until your faces are mere inches apart. "Say one more fucking word and I'm never coming home again." She watches your furious expression falter as your eyebrows scrunch together, a crease forming in your forehead. You remain silent and that's when she pulls back. "That's what I fucking thought."

You lower your gaze as she moves out of your view, striding towards your shared bedroom. All you hear is the sound of her footsteps padding across the ceramic floor tiles and trailing further from where you helplessly stand, before you hear the door slam. The sound reverberates through the house, leaving you frozen in place.

Your reticence lingers for a few minutes, almost as if you're too afraid to utter a single word or she'd walk out on you. A quiet sob escapes your lips when your legs give out and you slump onto a stool, burying your face in your hands as the tears finally fall.

The food's cold. It's all you can think about.

The food you spent all of last night planning out, and most of today to make. It's cold. Untouched.

Her words from earlier hit you like cinder blocks. The weight of each sentence uttered makes your heart sink further into your chest as if it's been attached to an anchor.

Questions flood your mind, each one heavier than the last. What went wrong? Was it something you did? How long has she felt this way?

You sit there for hours, drowning in your thoughts, wondering if she’s lying awake like you are, or if she’s already moved on—emotionally gone from what once felt unbreakable.

This isn't something she'd ever normally do. Billie's the most gentle person, especially with you. She'd never do anything to hurt you.

Hues of red and orange begin to spill through the living room window, painting the walls with soft, warm light. You take a shaky breath, turning your head to the window. The sunrise is breathtakingly beautiful—an ironic contrast to the emotional storm you've just endured through one of the worst nights of your life.

You sniffle quietly, wiping away the lingering tears with the back of your hand, your lips trembling from the strain of holding back sobs.

In the bedroom, Billie sits on the edge of the bed, knees drawn to her chest as she stares blankly at the wall. The faint light of the bedside lamp reflects the glimmer of dried tears streaked across her cheeks. She hadn’t bothered to turn it off, too lost in her own thoughts. Her lips are pressed into a remorseful line, her usual confidence replaced with raw guilt. She knows she messed up—knows she acted ungrateful when all you wanted was her.

A heavy sigh escapes her as she swings her legs over the side of the bed, forcing herself to get up. Thirst claws at her throat, but so does the anxiety of facing you. Deep down, she half-expects you to be gone by now—out of the house and her life for good after everything she said. But as she shuffles into the living room, Billie’s breath catches when she sees you still there, perched on the same stool by the counter where she’d left you hours ago.

Her stomach twists as she takes in your figure: slouched shoulders, tired eyes, and the faint, broken sniffles that fill the otherwise silent space. Each sound cuts deeper into her chest. She hesitates for a moment, her hand twitching as she reaches out, wanting to comfort you, but unsure if she even deserves to. Slowly, she steps closer, finally giving in to the ache in her heart.

Tentatively, Billie wraps her arms around you from behind. You flinch slightly, startled by the touch, a quiet gasp escaping your lips. It's the last thing you expected.

“I’m so fucking sorry, baby. You have no idea,” she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. Her grip tightens as though afraid you might slip away. “I don’t know what got into me last night. I never should’ve yelled at you or called you needy. You just wanted to be with me, and I—I was awful. I’m sorry. There’s no excuse for what I did.”

Your chest heaves, struggling to regulate your breathing. You can’t bring yourself to speak, the lump in your throat too heavy. After a long beat of silence, Billie pulls back slightly, moving to face you. Gently, she tilts your chin up, her heart sinking when she sees the toll her words took on you—your puffy, tear-streaked face, trembling lips, and bloodshot eyes.

Her hands cup your cheeks, her thumbs brushing away the dampness. “I did this to you,” she says, her voice barely audible, as if scolding herself. “I made you cry.”

“Was I… too much?” you croak, your voice cracking. The question hangs in the air, fragile and weighted with insecurity. “Too clingy?”

Billie’s brows knit tightly, and she shakes her head vehemently. “No. Never. You’re never too much, love. I’m so sorry.” She rests her forehead against yours, her voice soft but firm. “I’ll never lash out at you like that again. I promise.”

“It’s seven,” you whisper hoarsely, your voice still trembling.

Her eyes widen slightly. “You spent all night here crying?”

You nod wordlessly, and she exhales shakily, guilt washing over her anew. Without hesitation, Billie takes your hands, guiding you off the stool. “Come on,” she murmurs gently, leading you back toward the bedroom. As the door shuts softly behind you, she repeats, “I’m so sorry.”

You chuckle faintly, the sound raw and tired. “You’ve said that a billion times.”

“And I’ll say it a trillion more if that’s what it takes,” she replies, her lips curving into a soft smile as she wraps her arms securely around your waist. Her tone grows tender. “I love you. You’re never, ever too much for me.”

The warmth of her words soothes your aching heart, though the memory of the night still lingers. “You said you wanted a break,” you remind her, your voice a fragile whisper.

“I don’t,” she says quickly, her gaze earnest. “I was overwhelmed and stressed with everything. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. That’s on me.” Her fingers gently tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear, her touch featherlight. “But I don’t want a break. I want you. I'm sor—"

You shake your head, letting out a fragile laugh. “If you apologize again, I swear—”

Billie cuts you off with a soft, passionate kiss, pouring every ounce of regret and love into the moment. Your hands instinctively move to her shoulders, pulling her closer, grounding yourself in her warmth.

When she finally pulls away, she rests her forehead against yours, her blue eyes shining with affection and sincerity. “Let’s get some sleep, baby,” she whispers, her voice like a balm to your soul.

And for the first time that night, you feel the weight on your chest begin to lift.

billie eilish masterlist 🎤

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒 ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ open !

smut ; 🐝

fluff ; 🧸

angst ; 🥀

. ₊ ⊹ . ₊˖ . ₊

ONESHOTS :

─ .✦ overwhelmed!billie x caring!reader - YOU'RE LOSING ME 🥀🧸

billie returns from a week-long trip to korea, leading to an intense argument that threatens your relationship.

─ .✦ attentivegf!billie x insecure!reader - FADE INTO YOU 🥀🧸

when doubts about your worth drive a wedge between you and billie, an emotional confrontation reveals just how deep her love for you runs.

─ .✦ fwb!billie x fem!reader - THE HILLS 🐝

as the rules of your casual friends-with-benefits arrangement with billie blur, one night in a hotel room becomes a turning point neither of you expected.

─ .✦ concernedgf!billie x insecure!reader - BODY DYSMORPHIA 🥀🧸

struggling with body image and online criticism, you find comfort as billie lovingly supports you and helps you confront your insecurities with understanding and care.

─ .✦ flirtatious!billie x fem!reader - BILLIE BOSSA NOVA 🐝

a long-awaited romantic getaway to a hawaiian resort with your girlfriend leaves you craving her in more ways than one.

[ more coming soon ]

DRABBLES :

─ .✦ new year's with billie 🧸

[ more coming soon ]

HEADCANONS :

[ coming soon ]

SERIES :

[ coming soon ]

╰┈➤ main masterlist send a request

you dont know if you'll make it back.

Went and saw Billie Eillish live in Toronto yesterday. I fear I will never recover.

im so gay.

Umlmmmmm…I don’t know that I can? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

BIRDS OF A FEATHER

Aj Campos X reader

Warnings : angst, hospitals, near death experience, motorcycle accident, alcohol consumption.

——-

Reader has had feelings for her friend Aj for years but hasn’t had the guts to tell her. After being hospitalised and a near death experience Aj ends up telling reader her feelings and it all comes together all the time they’ve spent together and the memories

An angsty fluffy little one shot because im obsessed with billies song ‘birds of a feather’ and thought this would be cute. This took me an hour to write so sorry if it’s bad.

——-

“I want you to stayyy” Aj says dramatically her arm rested over my shoulder as she pouts, standing at her door, keys in hand and helmet in the other I look back at her with a smile, she slaps the back of my head with a sad look. “Hey we are literally going to see each other tomorrow at school don’t be so dramatic” I say with a sigh. She rolls her eyes and takes her arm off my shoulder to let me leave but not before she gives me a tight hug, suffocating even. “Aj I need to breathe, ur gonna kill me here” I say as dramatically as she did seconds ago just as she lets me go. “Fine leave me…forever” she puts her hand over her heart and pulls a sad face, earning a laugh from me. “Shut up stupid, right I’ll see you tomorrow 7am be up or im leaving without you” I say while walking out of the garden and to my bike. She closes the door and I start the engine, pulling the helmet over my head and pulling out of her street. I ride for around ten minutes before I get to some traffic lights, stopping I wait for them to turn green, once they do I make quick work of pulling out in a hurry to get home to my bed, I hear the screech of tires then I feel pain in the right side of my body before my whole body is flung off of my bike and makes contact with a wall. Then darkness. A lot of screaming then beeping then people talking about head scans and X-rays.

………..

(AJS POV…THE NEXT DAY)

I wake up at 6:30 to my alarm blasting in my ear, I jump out of bed with a little struggle and grab the clothes I left out the night before, throwing them on, I check my phone for a text from y/n but nothing. Weird but it’s happened before, she probably forgot to charge her phone or slept in. Hypocrite much. I carry on getting ready then wait for the clock to strike seven before heading outside, looking out for her motorbike. I wait for ten minutes before calling her, nothing. I wait another ten minutes before Gabi comes out of the house giving me a confused look. “Why are you still here? Wheres y/n?” She says throwing her backpack over her shoulder. I shrug and check my phone again “no clue, give me a ride?” I plead and Gabi nods. Once in Gabi’s car I check my phone another three times while she drives. “Jesus who died here?” Gabi says as we stop at some lights. I look up and see debris and a tow truck on the road, police and traffic wardens stood directing the traffic around the mess. I catch a glimpse of a bike on the side of the road and my heart breaks for whoever’s bike it is, my mind wandering off to y/n “god I keep telling them to just get a car but they insist on having that damn bike, and look there another motorbike in an accident” I say to Gabi, she hums in agreement before turning into the schools parking lot. Once parked we say goodbye to each other, our homerooms being in different classrooms “tell y/n I said their a douche for the no heads up this morning” I say before we go out separate ways as Gabi and y/n are in the same homeroom class.

Walking into homeroom I spot Tessa, one of mine and y/n’s closest friends since well forever. Me and y/n would never have met if Tessa didn’t introduce us.

……

Flashback :

Young Tessa runs over to young Aj paint smeared across her face “hide me” a young Tessa shouts toward Aj. In runs another girl. A young y/n, paintbrush in hand and an angry Gabi following her, a spot of red paint on her forehead. “Who’s that” a young Aj says, a blush spread across her face as the young girl and her sister run around trying to paint the others face. “That’s my best friend y/n, wanna meet them?” Tessa asks earning an eager nod from Aj.

……….

“Hey aj, nice hoodie, feeling nostalgic?” The girl pokes fun at me as we both take our seats, I look down at the hoodie and realise what she meant by nostalgic.

………

Flashback :

The whole gang sit in mine and y/ns hotel room the day before a track meet, alcohol in all of our systems, we play a few games and dance a little before we all end up sitting or lying down somewhere intoxicated out of our minds, y/n had just been through a huge breakup and we are all trying to help her without bringing it up. “I love the outfit but you’re gonna freeze y/n” I say with a laugh as the girl comes out of the bathroom in just her sports bra and some shorts. A blush spreading across my face. “If I turn blue don’t save me” she said while sitting next to me on the floor, taking another sip of her drink, pulling a disgusted expression. “We should really quit drinking while we are ahead we have the meet at 11am” she says “don’t be stupid” I return her gaze, grabbing the drink, she shivers and I take off my hoodie, leaving me in a long sleeved shirt, she takes it and rests her head on my shoulder.

……..

“Funny, speaking of, heard anything from y/n this morning?” I ask while I grab my phone to check again, the girl just shakes her head “you know her she probably didn’t sleep and forgot to charge her phone again” I nod in agreement.

The day goes on and nothing from y/n she hadn’t shown up to school, everyone assumes she just ditched and fell asleep for the day. I try calling her a few times on break but no answer still. It isn’t until track practice that there is any news about her whereabouts.

We all stand on the field waiting on coach when he comes out with a saddened look. “Hey everyone practice is cancelled take the day to rest. Aj, Gabi and Tessa, stay here, we need to talk.” He says allowing everyone to walk back to the changing rooms cheering and smiling. My heart drops already overthinking. “So y/ns mother has just called and she was in an accident” he starts but doesn’t get the time to finish as all three of us are sprinting to the locker rooms to grab our stuff.

We all hop into Gabis car and use google maps to direct us to the nearest hospital. I check my phone and see a missed call from y/n’s brother. I don’t call back just expecting him to tell us the same news we just heard from coach.

Once we get to the hospital Tessa runs to the reception and asks for a room number or anything information on her best friend. Me and Gabi stand a few feet behind praying we are allowed to go in and see y/n. After a few minutes of back and forth Tessa comes over and says “room 344”

We all race up to the room with help from nurses pointing us in the right direction. We end up in the ICU ward and find her room, we walk in and see a doctor checking her vitals or whatever doctors do. He turns to see the three of us stood there looking back at him, my eyes looking solely at y/n. “Hey guys are you y/n’s family, if you’re not you can’t be in here, she’s just came out of surgery and we are only allowing family members in right now.” He stares us down and puts the clipboard down, in a state of panic I turn to him and say “im her fiancé” without thinking, I hold my hand up and show him the ring on my finger. The promise ring y/n gave me as a joke one Valentine’s Day after my first ever girlfriend broke my heart. Even if it was a joke, that ring has never left my hand ever since. Surprisingly the doctor nods and lets us in without another question. “What happened?” I say before Tessa or Gabi can. “Motorbike accident, she has a cracked skull, broken collarbone. We took her to surgery to fix some things but she coded multiple times, we managed to bring her back and we are just keeping her here until we are certain she’s safe to go home.” He says pointing at her while my eyes fill with tears “she’s in an induced coma right now to help with the pain but when she wakes up she’s gonna need you all here to help her through this” I walk over to her and see the damage, broken nose, bust lip and black eye. Bruises litter her skin, the white hospital gown contrasting the purple and blueness of the bruises. I pull a chair over and sit down, grabbing ahold of her hand as the doctor leaves the room, saying something to gabi and Tessa as he leaves earning a nod and thankyou from them both. They both end up sitting on chairs too, Tessa making multiple phone calls while Gabi keeps asking if im okay.

It’s been hours that we’ve been sat here. She’s still asleep I’ve never seen her so peaceful it hurts. I remember all the times we’ve shared. This could be our last. Last night could’ve been our last movie night. “Fine leave me forever” being the last thing I ever said to her. My eyes fill with tears once again and Gabi comes over, placing a hand on my shoulder “you okay?” She asks quietly “I think I love her” I say while shaking my head, tears falling from my eyes. Tessa’s laugh can be heard from the other side of the room as she comes back in. “We know you love her, also doc mchot said she should wake up any time now, so stop throwing a pity party” Tessa says throwing Gabi a cup of jello. “Where did you even get these?” Gabi laughs. “The hot doctor snuck me a few in exchange for my number” she smirks “he’s switching jobs to be a firefighter, next week he starts training” the blonde smirks again. “If y/n was awake right now they would throw this jello cup at your head so hard” I say with a small smile. I feel y/n start to stir in her bed, Gabi and Tessa take this as their sign to leave the room “we will give you two some space” Gabi says, grabbing Tessa’s arm and dragging her along asking about the hot doctor/firefighter.

A groan escapes her mouth as her eyes open slowly, a hand shooting up to rub her eyes. Followed by a hiss of pain. “What the fuck happened?” She says with a laugh “I love you” I blurt out.

—————

(Y/ns pov)

My eyes open and my whole body aches. I bring up a hand to rub my eyes but a shooting pain follows as I hit the bridge of my nose, I bite my lip in agony and bring my hand back down, seeing aj with puffy red eyes, and the fact we are sat in a hospital I look at her again “what the fuck happened?” I ask before laughing a little. She looks me in the eyes and blurts out “I love you” I blink a few times to make sure I am indeed awake and not dead. Once im positive im not in heaven I realise im crying and aj looks at me concerned “I love you too And I don't know what I'm cryin' for, I don't think I could love you more” I blurt out immediately regretting it as I see Tessa and Gabi at the door smirking, we are never going to live this down. So I do the only thing I can think of. Dig myself a deeper hole. “I’ll love you to the day that I die”

HIT ME HARD AND SOFT INSPIRED FICS WHEN⁉️

collab with drrymir, i drew harry and she drew draco🍨 we used this base

ruin it | b.eilish

billie eilish x fem!reader

context. billie doesn’t want to ruin your friendship so she keeps her feelings to herself

warnings. angst, kissing, not proof read

masterlist

“I had a great time.” she concluded as she walked you up the stairs to your apartment, having driven you home due to the late hour of the night.

“me too, thanks for driving me home.” you replied when she smiled and leaned in for a hug.

“it was my pleasure.” as you waved her off you gave yourself a second to find your keys and prepare yourself from entering the apartment. you’d decided to give the girl a second chance, after the disaster that was the first date, against your roommate’s wishes. you were desperately hoping she was asleep. the keys turned in the lock and you pushed the door open quietly and headed straight for your room, having heard the tv on in the living room.

“not so fast.” her voice boomed as you heard her footsteps approach the hallway near your bedroom. you cursed yourself silently.

“i thought you’d be asleep?” she crossed her arms once she placed herself in front of you.

“why were you out so late?” her tone was somewhat angry, as if you’d done something wrong. and despite disagreeing with this statement, you grew exceedingly nervous.

“that’s none of your business billie.” your response came off harsher than intended.

“since when is anything none of my business?” she seemed annoyed by your reply.

“billie, c’mon. it’s not a big deal.” you turned away from her in attempt to escape the conversation but she piped up again.

“were you with her?” she asked and you turned to face her. it gave her the answer she needed. “seriously?” she seemed disappointed.

“was she late again? did she show up sober this time?” she referred to what a dick the girl had been last time you’d gone out with her.

“yes actually, she was perfectly nice.” billie almost laughed.

“yeah okay, does she still think your name is bella?” she scolded you. on the first date she’d gotten your name wrong consistently, and billie never missed an opportunity to bring it up.

“no..” you replied sheepishly.

“well that certainly makes up for it. why did you go out with her again? you know you deserve better.” there was hints of sadness in her words as she spoke.

“not everyone gets as many hoes as you billie. i don’t necessarily get to be picky.” she furrowed her brows as you said this.

“why not? even if it means waiting you shouldn’t lower your standards.” it was frustrating dealing with her, she never approved of your romantic choices. it didn’t matter who it was she’d always point out a flaw.

“why do you even care so much? just let me make bad decisions.” you sighed, tired of this conversation. this argument you’d have every-time you came back from a date.

“i care about you. you deserve better, so much better than that fucking loser.” she seemed disgusted by the thought of her.

“why do you always have to ruin my chance at a happy relationship?” you raised your voice, annoyed at her persistence.

“because i know you wouldn’t be happy!” she seethed, trying desperately to get her point across.

“so i can’t be happy with anyone? what am i supposed to do then?” she opened her mouth to speak but stayed silent, not wanting to say something she’d regret.

“of course, no excuse. as per fucking usual. i mean what is it? are you jealous? do you ruin my relationships because you think we won’t be as close?” she stayed silent, contemplating her words. her silence however, gave you an answer in itself.

“oh my god… you’re jealous!” you couldn’t believe it, but her eyes widened at the conclusion you’d come to and she dismissed it.

“i’m not jealous.” she said defensively.

“then what is it?” you searched her eyes for an answer but she didn’t seem to have one herself.

“they don’t deserve you, none of them. you’re too good for any of them.” she repeated herself.

“what the fuck does that even mean at this point? you keep saying it, but it seems like you think there’s nobody that deserves me. stop fucking with me billie i don’t want to hear it anymore.” her expression softened.

“that’s not what i meant.” she was having trouble expressing herself.

“i don’t understand bils, help me understand because it’s driving a wedge between us when there’s no reason for it to.” you were pleading her to explain. explain the truth, tell you what she was holding back.

“you don’t get it.” she said simply, throwing her head back in frustration.

“billie, if you’re just gonna deflect, i’m going to sleep. i can’t deal with your shit tonight.” she lowered her head, scouring her brain for what to say next. what to say to convince you.

“wait!” she grabbed your arm, holding you back.

“no, billie. if you’re gonna be all cryptic and confusing i don’t wanna hear it.” her grip was insisting, pulling you back to her.

“i just don’t want to ruin it.” her words as cryptic as ever, proving your previous point. your curiosity took control though.

“ruin what?” it was a question with a lot of weight.

“this. our friendship.” her words bled with hurt and fear, a combination that broke your heart every-time you’d hear it.

“they don’t deserve you because, i do.” it hit you in several ways, not fully understanding the extent of the meaning behind it.

“what?” you asked for clarification, hesitantly she complied.

“i’d treat you right, give you what you deserve.” she admitted finally, and your thoughts were spoken aloud.

“billie..”

“no. listen to me. you mean more to me than anyone ever has, and i can’t stand to see these idiots mistreat you. and what i really can’t stand, is the fact that you let them.” she waited silently for a response, already accepting that you might not be able to give her one.

“billie.” it was weak, no motion to it, nothing it was destined to be.

“yeah?” her hope was slowly diminishing.

“just..” she tilted her head, confused at your lip taking residence between your teeth.

“hm?” she bit her cheek, nausea forming in the pit of her stomach. the fear of having ruined years of friendship consuming her mind.

“just kiss me then.”

“what?” she was still trying to process your words and you gave her time to do so.

“kiss me how i deserve to be kissed. make me happy.”

“no, don’t do this to me. you’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.” she shook her head, stepping away from you.

“billie.” she lifted her head to look at you. “i’m dead serious.” she raised an eyebrow and let you approach her.

“but won’t it ruin it? ruin us?” she was hesitant when she stepped closer to you.

“not if we don’t let it.” you countered, easing your way into her embrace. “besides, you can’t say that shit without acting on it. at that point you may as-well call me bella, it’d hurt less.” she laughed, the sound vibrating in your ears.

“okay.” she held your face tenderly as her lips reached yours. she backed you against your bedroom door as she continued to kiss you, your hands lost in her hair and her groans lost in your throat. her hips attached to yours, moving in a rhythm of passion.

“see, you didn’t ruin it.” you were breathless, smiling like an idiot. she smirked before speaking.

“not yet.” she gripped your ass, biting her lip at your little jump. you wouldn’t have expected this from her, you’d never imagined yourself in this position. but by no means was it a complaint.

“you couldn’t ruin me, not even if you tried.” she saw it as a challenge, and then her lips feathered yours as she formed her words.

“watch me.”

note: oops, i disappeared for a while 🫣 i promise it was with good reason and i’ll start getting back to my requests now. love youuuu

but baby, i | b.e.

billie eilish x fem!reader

context. your ex girlfriend, billie, can’t resist calling you a week after you’d broken up.

warnings. angst, fluff, suggestive

masterlist

‘if you go, i’m going too’

a sigh of relief was heard on the other end of the phone when you’d pressed the green button, spilling out a hesitant ‘hello’ as you held the phone up to your ear. There was no response however, lighting up a flame of irritation in you.

“Who is this?” was the next thing that fell from your lips, laced with hostility.

“baby,” it was quiet, soft and inviting. Emotions from the previous couple months all encompassed into the term of endearment.

“billie?” your voice softened at the realisation of who it was.

“deleted my number already have you?” she teased, but it didn’t make you smile, not in this moment.

“billie, what happened? are you okay?” the questions tumbled out in an attempt to comprehend the reason for her call. it had been a week since you’d broken up, and hearing her voice felt like you’d been taken back to last Friday.

“yeah no, nothing happened, i’m fine. i just..” she trailed off, gathering the courage to speak, or the bravery to do the right thing, and hang up. but she was weak, and so were you.

“yeah?” it was a plea for her to continue. a beg for her to speak the words you couldn’t.

“i miss you baby.” your eyes drifted shut, a flush rising to your cheeks.

“billie, this isn’t a good idea.” it was the truth neither of you wanted to hear.

“i don’t care.” she whined, desperation clear in her words.

“billie don’t say that.” she let out a sigh of frustration at your words.

“i know you missed me too, this week has been the shittiest week you could imagine.” and suddenly you found yourself drifting into your usual conversation, like you would’ve a week ago.

“i’m sorry bils, how can i help?” it was a stupid question and you’d realised soon enough. all of this would eventually lead you back to her.

“you know how.” it was a confession in itself, revealing what she hoped to get from this call.

“tell me. whatever you need, i’ll do it.” you couldn’t reject her, not now, not ever. she had been everything for you, and she still was.

“come over, please.” her request was simple but it meant so much.

“are you sure?” her answer would decide your future, because it was clear what would happen if you complied with her wish.

“i need you.” those three words were deadly, they represented so many things all at once. they could be interpreted as multiple meanings.

“fuck,” it was a sigh of submission, giving in to her. and everything you’d previously given up. “i’ll be there in ten.”

‘cause it was always you’

the silence that followed the knock on her door, was deafening. leaving too much space for you to fall into the pit of doubt, that was still very much prominent. when the door finally opened, she stood in front of you, her perfect eyes attaching themselves to yours. then she smiled, engulfing you in a gentle hug, holding you as if you might break.

“billie.” it pulled her out of her state of daydreaming, grounding her with the realisation that this didn’t mean the beginning of a new chapter.

“i’m so sorry.” the apology was long overdue, but when she closed the door behind you, inviting you back in, none of that mattered.

“i know, but i need your promise, that we’ll be okay this time. i can’t go through breaking up with you again. i won’t survive it this time.” your throat closed up, signalling you to stop talking before your feelings spill out of your eyes, in front of her.

“of course angel, i understand. i’ll give you whatever you need.” she held your face in her hands, confirming her words at the slight rub of her thumb, over your cheeks.

“i need your devotion, your love.”

“but baby, i..” she paused for a second, pondering on wether her next words were ones she’d later regret. but she soon brushed the doubt away, releasing herself from its constraints, confessing her truth. “i’ll love you ‘til the day that i die.”

when she brought her lips to yours they were warm, inviting. they connected and moulded together as your bodies inched closer.

‘and if i’m turning blue, please don’t save me’

the heat from her breath, warming the patches of skin tainted by her tongue, as she ran it across your naked body. her lips attached to yours nipples, and then your clit. devoting herself to your pleasure. expressing her love for your body.

‘nothing left to lose, without my baby.’

and when your mind lost itself in her affection, focusing on her tongue buried deep inside you hole, you felt connected. birds of a feather destined to reach for each other in times of difficulty. destined to end up in each others’ embrace in times of despair.

‘we should stick together.’

real

sometimes i see a photo of billie eilish and i have the sudden urge to scream cry and admit myself into an insane asylum because it’s not fair

women in music really be winning rn. sabrina carpenter, chappell roan, laufey, clairo, faye webster, beabadoobee, billie eilish, the list goes on!! you go women in music