Queer Positivity - Blog Posts

The love that this post is getting makes me so happy and proud! I love all of you and I’m so happy that we are spreading the positivity!😊

I feel like we can all agree that labels can either bring people comfort or make people feel like they are being put into boxes. So on that note, I wish you all a good day, and I hope you find comfort with yourselves whether or not you identify with a label.

what’s the point of the “aro and ace ppl aren’t oppressed!!” card to exclude us?

like first of all, aros and aces ARE oppressed in such an amatonormative world, but even if we weren’t, isn’t it the biggest goal of the lgbtq+ community to not be oppressed one day? we want a world where gay and lesbian people are no longer oppressed, which is a great thing, but when that happens, are we suddenly going to drop them from the community just because they “aren’t oppressed anymore”?

since when has oppression played a part in whether or not someone is queer?? trans women tend to get more shit than trans men even though both are severely oppressed, so are the former somehow more queer than the latter? last time i checked, the answer was, and still is, no...

if you aren’t allocishet, then you can consider yourself a member of the lgbtq+ community; not because of the oppression you face, but because you deviate from the allonormative, amatonormative, monormative, cisnormative, or heteronormative structures of society. period

🏳️‍🌈🌈🖤El amor nunca se debe reprimir,esconderse o negarlo🖤🌈🏳️‍🌈

How to ask someone to be your QPP

I’ve gotten a couple of communications about this, so I thought I’d try answering it directly here.

Much like how to ask someone to be in a romantic relationship, asking someone to be in a qpr (queerplatonic relationship) can be very personal and individualized.

A good place to start is by bringing up the concept of a qpr and discussing it with the person.  They might know exactly what it is, or they might not know anything about it, or they might’ve heard of it but not know what it means to you (and honestly, what it means to you is going to be the most important).

When you’re talking about it, you can kind of gauge their reaction and see how they handle it.  If they’re dismissive or uninterested, then you know it might not be safe or helpful to try to ask them to be in a qpr with you.  If they’re respectful and want to know more, then it’s a great gateway to further discussion.

You might talk about popular depictions of qpr’s, or what you, personally, would want in a qpr, or the challenges and joys of being in multiple qpr’s or in a qpr and a romantic relationship, etc.

I’d recommend giving that some time to sit and kind of… settle in.

Then, if it has gone well so far, you can start a separate conversation about asking that person if they’d like to try building a qpr with you.

I think the phrasing here can be really important.  Since some people define qpr’s as almost like romance-less and sex-less marriages, it could be considered a pretty serious thing to ask someone to be your qpr, almost like a platonic proposal.  They might not be ready for that.

You could consider framing it more like “deepening the friendship” or even “try building a qpr” (as I phrased it above), which focuses more on the process and less on the final result.

This is a great time to strive for excellent communication, and talk about things like whether you’re on the same page about multiple qpr’s, or what you think/feel about how to handle if one or both you has romantic relationships, too.  At some point, you’ll want to talk through your respective thoughts on things like the role of physical affection in your relationship, including whatever boundaries you have (or want to have).  These kinds of conversations aren’t always easy, but they’re really important for healthy relationships of all kinds.

Followers, if you’ve asked someone to be your qpp, how did you do it?  What are some helpful ways to approach this?