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Zatanna Zatara - Blog Posts
Zatanna: I’m pretty not smart
Wally: it shows
M’gann: Come join a nunnery with me
Zatanna: I don’t need to join a nunnery I need to join a whorehouse
Zatanna: Pre-broth is an amazing stage, it's when you're most alert
Raquel: Good, 'cause someone needs to be alert tonight. This snake juice is basically rat poison. Everybody's wasted.
M'gann *drunk crying*: You don't even know ONE THING. I didn't even say ONE THING and then she asked me the WHOLE THING and I didn't even do it ONCE.
Dick *drunk*: I'm like, an elephant, okay if I walk into a room, it's like, ok, he's, in there.
Kaldur *hammered*: baba-booey
Wally *drunk*: Turn this music down! 🎵Butts 'n boob 'n love 'n stuff 🎵
Wally:...
Wally: 🎵Macaroni salad~🎵
Artemis *drunk*: *Furiously speaking vietnamese*
Conner: *Dancing*
M'gann: Do you guys know where I can get one of those gold necklaces with a "T" on it?
Zatanna: That's a cross
M'gann: Across from where?
Wally: Shoot Zatanna and I have been getting closer
Wally: The other day she gave me half her sandwich
Zatanna: I mistook him for a garbage can
Zatanna: Guys, my dad just admitted to being homophobic
Zatara: All I said is that I wouldn’t buy you an ice cream cone at McDonald’s
Zatanna: SAME THING!
Zatanna: What'cha doing?
Wally: Standing on the side of the road.
Zatanna: Fun
Zatanna: Oh my gosh, you're never going to believe this, there is this guy standing on the side of the road who looks just like you.
Zatanna: I'm about to hit him
Wally: huh?
*Zatanna hits Wally with her car*
Connor: What do you guys say when you answer the phone?
Wally: What up?
Dick: Who dis be?
Zatanna: No, he's imprisoned in Doctor Fate helmet, this is his daughter
*During the Halloween episode s1*
Artemis: Wow Harm really hates us Zatanna
Zatanna: Yes, perhaps he's homophobic
Artemis:...
Artemis: But we're not gay Zatanna
Zatanna: We're not?!
Zatanna: I don't have a sad playlist...I have a playlist that makes me sad
Artemis: No I wouldn't call the cops
Zatanna: So you're saying if I murdered someone you still wouldn't tell anyone
Artemis: No but I'd hold it against you for the rest of your life. Like are you gonna do these dishes or... do I need to make a phone call?
Artemis: *Sweaty and wiping it off with bottom her shirt*
Zatanna: *Having gay thoughts*
Zatanna: *Yells* I'M A BOTTOM, PEG ME PLEASE
Zatanna: Should I become a child psychologist? I mean I don't want kids to become as screwed up as me
Raquel: Maybe go to therapy and deal with your own problems first before you even try help others
Wally: Once a year, Zatanna and I spend a day treating ourselves. What do we treat ourselves to?
Zatanna: Clothes.
Wally: Treat yoself.
Zatanna: Fragrances.
Wally: Treat yoself.
Zatanna: Massages.
Wally: Treat yoself.
Zatanna: Mimosas.
Wally: Treat yoself.
Zatanna: Fine leather goods
Wally: Treat yoself!
Zatanna: It's the best day of the year.
Wally and Zatanna: It's the best day of the year!
When Artemis and Wally told the team they were dating
M'gann: Don't you dare hurt her
*The Team laughs*
Wally: I won't
Dick: don't laugh, she means it
Wally: I-i mean I won't
Kaldur: seriously Wally, don't hurt her
Wally: okay I'm not planning on hurting her
Rocket: you better not be
Wally:I'm not
Zatanna: Hey Wally, you best watch your self
Wally: why would any of you think I would hurt Artemis, you're all my friends too
Conner: Meh
Artemis: What I want is to stop wanting a man
Zatanna: Step 1 start liking women
Zatanna: Step 2 turn to your right
Zatanna: *winks*
Zatanna: Do you know how many basic bitches would KILL to have the same personality as me?
M'gann: As your best friend
Artemis: Zatanna is my best friend
M'gann:
M'gann: AS YOUR BEST FRIEND....
Funniest Members of the JLD
Doctor Fate: He’s a fucking helmet. Like yes there is a god in the helmet but it doesn’t change the fact that this is a helmet.
Deadman: Extremely accurate name. Also where are they finding all of these circus acrobats.
Frankenstein: He’s from a classic novel?? He has the blood of an alien king??? He defended London against Nazis?? He worked for Father Time, who is a Japanese schoolgirl???? What is with this man.
John Constantine: Lost his house and the leadership of the JLD to Zatanna (his ex) after killing her father. Snorted Santa’s bones. not a good person at all.
Zatanna: Put a spell on Constantine to try and force him to be good. Also her name is Zatanna Zatara. That’s just kinda odd.
Batman: WHY IS HE EVEN HERE
Drew this while watching ☀️ Little Miss Sunshine ☀️ I absolutely love that movie
I’m so excited to finally be able to share my piece for the @todayisthedayyjzine! I chose the episode “Denial” and was super excited to make it like a choose your character screen from a video game. I hope that y’all like it!
Thank you to all the talented artists who helped with this project and an especially big thank you to my friend __epic_grapes for helping me put it all together! This zine couldn’t have been made without all of you!
So since you said I can still take a request and you said you kinda know about this show, how about Zee Zatara bonding with her dad? Maybe something with cooking and/or magic?
They're practicing magic and making blueberry pancakes at the same time!
John Constantine is seventeen, angry and entirely ready to lose himself in the occult.
The open book in front of him details a particularly nasty ritual, but not one he’s unwilling to pay the price for. He bought the book from the shop on Eaton street, ‘Occult Exposition’. It’s not a nice shop. The clientele tend to be even dodgier than John and the owner always goes out of his way to make him as uncomfortable as possible.
John supposes that that’s just the price of authenticity.
The book is authentic. He knows that. One of the first things John learned was that the fakes always do well when it comes to flair but never quite catch the essence of a true ritual.
Fully set up in the back garden, John begins his ritual.
He chants and moves and shifts his thoughts in all the right directions. He slits the throat of a rabbit and cuts out the eye of the hawk that caught it. He spins a web of spider silk around the remains and watches it turn into a spun glass cage that contains something entirely different.
John lifts the same knife he used to cut out the hawks eyes and slit the rabbits throat, ready to plunge it into the beating heart the glass now contains.
“Are you sure you want to do that?” a voice calls out from behind him.
John spins around with his knife at the ready to defend himself. Instead if someone attacking him all John sees is a beautiful girl leaning against the dirty wall of his garden shed.
“Are you sure you want to stick around until the police come arrest you for trespassing?” he snarls, caught off guard.
The girl has the gall to roll her eyes. “As if you would call the police.” Considering the garden stinks of weed John supposes that the girl may have a point. “And anyway, I’m just giving you some sound advice. Nothing malicious about me at all.”
John narrows his eyes. “There aren’t many people who offer advice for free.”
“Well maybe I’m just feeling generous today.” the girl says with a grin. The smile drops promptly. “The blood rune won’t work, so you’re just going to be compelled to rip your heart out and eat it. Do you want to rip your heart out and eat it?”
John scoffs even as he sends the blood rune an uncertain look. “The rune is fine.”
The girl shoots him a withering look. “It has to be virgin's blood.”
“It is vir-“ John pauses. Resets. “Oh shit.”
“What? Are you still feeling lucky?”
“Fuck off.” John says on reflex. Then, “Thanks for telling me though. That could’ve been nasty.”
The girl finally smiles properly. Broad and shining and even John is forced to admit to himself that it’s a beautiful smile. “You’re very welcome. My name's Zatanna.” she says, sticking her hand out for him to shake.
“John.”
“I know,” she says with a wink as they clasp hands. “If you ever want a little more sound advice then just give me a call. Promise I’m a better option than you ever you got that book from.”
John raises an eyebrow. “Not that I don’t appreciate the offer, but what’s put you in such a sharing mood?”
“I said I was feeling generous.” Her expression softens. “I think you’re going to be powerful. The kind of powerful that’s going to get people killed if you don’t know how to handle it. Call me when you’re in trouble.”
When she finishes speaking a wind summons itself up around her. Twisting and twirling until she’s stood in the centre of a spinning tornado. The speed of the wind reaches a climax and dissipates all of a sudden, leaving behind no sign of Zatanna.
John takes a step towards the space she used to occupy and spots something on the ground. It’s a business card. Pristine white with edges sharp enough to cut through flesh. On the card is a name, ‘Zatanna Zatara’, and a phone number.
There are two ‘x’s handwritten below the number and they make John feel oddly warm.
“Fuck.” he says to empty air. “Fuck.”
He turns back to his aborted ritual and starts cleaning up the blood.
Au where Billy doesn’t get his demigod form but just a shit ton of magic instead.
(can kinda be read as a continuation of this)
~
Zatanna has been hopping around Europe for months now. She’s been finding her father’s old teachers and new ones that are all her own and getting them to tell her everything they can. Since she left the mountain she’s been wringing every drop of knowledge she can from the world and practising it until she falls asleep with all her magic spent.
It feels a little like healing.
Sometimes it feels like something else though. When Zatanna thinks about how the only real connections she’s made on this journey have been with her teachers. Those connections aren’t like the one she shared with her father. Not like the connections she still shares with the Team. She makes the effort to go and visit the mountain on occasion but it’s not enough. The feeling of other people being close and loving her doesn’t fill her up like it used to.
She decides that this probably is healing. This whole thing she’s doing. But it’s a lonely breed of it.
Then a boy with black hair and blue eyes and far too much power, just like her, comes tumbling into her room one day.
“Uh. Hi. I’m Billy.” he says, uncertain. His aura crackles with lightning and Zatanna doesn’t think she’s ever seen someone with so much raw magic running through their veins.”You’re Zatanna right? I was hoping that you could help me? I want- I need to learn magic.” He pauses. “It’s important. A wizard told me so.”
Zatanna hasn’t thought about helping anyone in a long time. She’s been too focused on saving herself to have room for other worries. She realises that she misses it.
She must hesitate for too long because Billy looks far more worried than a kid that age should have any right to. “Please?” he says.
Zatanna smiles, because healing takes many forms and she thinks that this might be one she prefers. “Okay.” she says.
Billy smiles and it lights the room up so much that Zatanna thinks he might actually be doing magic on accident.
They’ll work on it.
When is a person not a person?
It’s a question that plagues Zatanna. Or, maybe not even that. When does a person become a different person? When does the helmet on your head twist and twist you into someone new and old and different who doesn’t have a daughter at all.
Zatanna wonders if the word orphan applies to her. She wonders if she’ll ever figure it out.
“I don’t know.” Robin says when she asks, because during one of their chats he let slip that he really is an orphan. Two whole parents buried in their graves, no waking up. The whole shebang.
“I want to know.” She answers. It feels like a big question, the kind you need someone to answer before you can move on and do anything with your life. “I want things to start making sense.”
The word orphan makes sense. She even looked it up in a dictionary, all very clear cut.
“Whatever the answer is, you have family.” He smiles and Zatanna thinks about how sweet he is.
“Wally’s a lucky guy.” she says, half because she wants the conversation to turn a little less serious, half because it’s the truth. Robin turns a bit red and Zatanna absent mindedly starts thinking about what colour bridesmaid dress she would like.
“Shut up.” he groans, before turning serious again. “I don’t know what the right thing to say is, Z, but you’ve got to know that you’re one of us.”
Zatanna’s heart breaks a little even as she smiles. She does love the team, really she does. They’re bright and fast and beautiful and kind. They’re strong and clever and righteous and she does love them. It’s just that before she didn’t only belong with them. She had two places. She had a room in the mountain and a place by her father’s side.
It had made her feel whole, the duality of it all.
Maybe that’s why she packs a bag the next morning and conjures up a means of escape.
Every day with the team her soul shatters again. Every time she sees her father’s body, reduced to a vessel for a being that isn’t even kind, her heart breaks in two. Staying so close to reminders of all the things she’s lost isn’t doing her any good so she decides to leave.
Where’s the line between running away and escaping? she thinks, and finally there’s a question she doesn’t want the answer to.
Artist Spotlight variant covers by David Nakayama
Zatanna Zatara
Mistress of Magic
Primak
Justice League Dark